The Casuality of Sex (Part I)

Yes, I realise casuality is not a recognised word in the English language, but hey, English changes everyday! 

Casuality (as defined by Sharon Bolanta): The casual nature by which certain things are treated.


I have a very close circle of friends… I like it that way. I don’t really meet new random people per say.. Whenever I meet someone new, it\’s probably a friend of a friend or something like that.

However, last year, I decided I\’d be a tad bit more spontaneous.. So this year, when random people say hi to me, instead of ignoring them, I actually respond nicely :)..

This week, was my first time of being this nice person.. And something quite interesting happened.

Twice I was approached/offered cyber-sex, by two random people who had no clue who I was or anything at all about me.

The funny part was, there was no warm up.. There was no talking up to it.

It was like \”I\’m bored, let\’s have sex!\”

Now, maybe this is normal to people out there, but to me, it was a shock to my system, cause like, they didn\’t know me.. Funny part was, one was a lady, and she didn\’t care to know if I was straight or not..  she could have at least asked me!

Anyways, I thought about it for all of 5 minutes and I was like  but why were you surprised? Over the last few weeks I had been discussing with my mother how people have turned sex into such a casual affair.. Like now a days, it means absolutely nothing. You hook up with people just cause they are attractive, or you\’re drunk or something like that.

I\’m a Christian, and I don’t believe in pre martial sex.. Now, even if I wasn\’t a Christian, I still cannot imagine myself being so casual about it.

Like yo.. its sex, it’s a joining, I\’m being joined to you for that time. A bond is being formed, no matter how small, how weak, or how brief, It is being formed…. and in my opinion it should be special or at the very least be reserved for people who are more than mere strangers, and no, knowing my name, age, relationship status and occupation does not mean you know me…

And so, I cannot imagine why anyone would be okay with having sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry.. Or every Mary, Amanda and Joy.. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Yes.. I realise I\’m probably one of the only few who think this way, but that’s my opinion.

No, I don’t expect you to agree with me, I don’t expect you to all of a sudden change your ways or any of that jazz…

I just think we should all think about the real reason why we do things and maybe some of us need to learn the art of self-control.

These are my thoughts… What are yours?

Disclaimer: As a Christian, I believe sex (sexual intercourse) is specifically reserved for married couples.

Photo credit: Ejike Manny Photography. For more amazing wedding pictures, you can follow him on IG @ejikemanny!

9 thoughts on “The Casuality of Sex (Part I)”

  1. Way to go girl. If you don’t stand up for something, you will stand for anything. I echo your words “As a Christian, I believe sex (sexual intercourse) is specifically reserved for married couples.” That is the only way to get God’s blessings on the union.

  2. I 100% agree with you. Most people sell themselves cheap when they don’t understand their sense of value and the spiritual implications of pre- marital sex. Keep up the good work..

  3. This is what we need! More young people who are willing to openly stand for truth!
    I am proud of you shay!
    That being said I absolutely agree. The media has made sex seem like a glass of water; you can and should have it whenever you can and feel like. Well that’s just sad and so wrong! People just go around bonding themselves to whoever spiritually and physically. The consequences of pre marital sex are devastating and not worth it if you ask me…The psychological, the physical and spiritual alike.
    Anyway well done shay

  4. I fall in the same line of thought. Sexual intercourse is really a big deal, and shouldn’t be treated so casually. The thing is most people nowadays feel the urge to have sex shouldn’t be controlled, but instead satisfied, and of course sex is cheap now. Just like you said, someone straight up asked you for it, that’s how people hook up, its that easy. The only thing that matters to some is to get the satisfaction, however and from who so ever. But then humans our wants are insatiable, so they keep going on and on. The religious factor doesn’t even matter anymore, after all God is all forgiving. This generation of ours, it’s scary really. As a Muslim my beliefs do not conform with premarital or extra marital sex, I keep praying that I don’t one day find myself doing these same things I despise cuz really, it’s not easy. Very nice write up Sharon.

  5. Sex really is a big deal and shouldn’t be treated casually. Thing is the most feel the urge need not be controlled, but instead should be satisfied. After all sex is cheap now. Just like someone hit u up straight up asking for it, that’s how easily people hook up. Having friends with benefits is almost normal now. My beliefs do not conform with pre marital or extra marital sex, and everyday I pray I don’t one day find myself doing these same things I despise, cuz it really isn’t easy. This generation, its really scary. Nice write up Sharon, keep em coming.

  6. Wow great post Sharon. You are 100 % correct . Its all about self-control. People have sex for short term satisfaction,God created sex for marriage. And he did this for a reason , casual sex is so damaging for people. Its the most vulnerable thing one can do, there is a reason its for marriage. Pre-martial sex is the reason for so many broken families and so many children growing up only one parent or two parents that cant stand each other. We live in a fallen world, and most people are out for their own lustful desires. I respect your honesty, because we know there’s only a handful of people with these views. The world needs to realise there rebellion against Gods law.

  7. Pingback: The Casuality of Sex (II) – Wandering Thoughts from a Random Mind

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