It’s the fourth day of March 2019. It has only been two months, and 2019 already feels like it’s been an exercise in patience.
Towards the end of 2018, I began to reflect on my life. 2018 had not progressed quite as I expected, and I wanted 2019 to be better. So I planned. I reflected on my current situation and thought of ways I could do better. In my head, I was ready for the new year.
Two months have gone by, and I must confess, I feel like I have been running a marathon for the last two months. I came back from my holidays and hit work at a run. My personal life took some battering as well. If I thought I was exhausted last year, I know now, that I was chilling (I wasn’t though lol). And the stress I felt then was only preparing me for this year.
But I digress. In the last while, I have come to see that we never stop learning and growing. I have come to understand that even when we think we have outgrown certain habits or broken certain walls, or just outgrown trash behaviour it is easy to slip up and find ourselves in a position we thought we had left behind.
I have always been an emotional person, given to feeling things in extremes. As such, it is often difficult for me to move on from hurts especially from people I am close too. However, over the past few years, I have been teaching myself to breathe, let go and move on. And for the most part, I thought I was doing a great job at it.
As humans, we should never stop growing.
It is funny because it is probably my pride that set me back a bit. I recently had an experience that triggered emotions I thought were long gone. I told myself “Oh, I’m over this, I’m not hurt, I’m not even bothered” lol, what a joke. I was so sure I was above feeling such strong resentment and anger and hurt until I found myself having to go over breathing exercises to calm myself down.
I tell this story because sometimes, we find ourselves slipping into things we thought we had outgrown. When this happens, it is easy to beat ourselves up, because we assume that such things are beneath us. We imagine that because something has not been an issue for a while, we can never relapse.
The truth is, as humans, we should never stop growing, and I don’t mean physically. We will always face challenges, some old, some new. Sometimes we will overcome them, but other times we will fall and fall hard. When this happens, it is not the time to look at your progress as null and think of yourself as a failure. Instead, it is time to look at your life and realise that you are still a work in progress. It is the time to accept that sometimes you will make mistakes, but every mistake is a lesson and every lesson an opportunity to grow.
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