Search

Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings

Month

August 2017

Greener Grass

I’m sure you were all expecting Part 2 of Relationship Bants! Lol, sorry to disappoint guys, I will post it, but just not today!

smug gif

You know what they say about delayed gratification!

Okay, so to today’s post. For the majority of last week, I struggled with feelings of “everyone seems to be having a better time than I am” 😦 .

I was comparing myself to former classmates that had gotten married, classmates that got new jobs, classmates that seemed to have had amazing summers etc. And there I was . . . going to my “8- whenever I close job”. Doing experiments that for some unknown reason kept failing, marriage nowhere in sight. (not that I really want to be married right now, but still) No chance of a new job for at least 2 more years and summer is over, so no amazing summer for me this year! 😦

As you can see, everything in my life paled in comparison to what everyone else seemed to be doing, and it was hard to not be depressed or to not compare my life to theirs and feel like I got the short end of the stick. sad face

I wish I could say I “slapped myself” and got out of those feelings just like that, but it didn’t happen that way.

I had to have conversations, with both myself and other people. I had to remind myself why I do what I do, and why my life is just as good as anyone else’s.

It’s very easy to think the grass is greener on the other side. It’s easy to look at others and feel inadequate to the people around you, but you shouldn’t, and there are many reasons why.

For starters, you don’t know personally what they are experiencing. I have learnt that social media life can be as real as it can be fake and it is often difficult to determine what is a stunt and what is the reality. Another thing I have come to learn about the grass on the other side is that it is rarely ever the kind of grass I like. It looks good, but if I am completely honest with myself, then I have to admit that the things I am envious of, are not really things I am interested in, which raises the question of why am I jealous of those experiences in the first place! idk

Human nature is always searching for more. Day in, day out we want more. We are hardly ever satisfied, and I think that’s why the grass often always looks greener.

So, what do we do about that? How do we deal with this illusion of greener pastures?

Honestly, I think everyone will deal with such issues differently. However, one thing we can do is when we are tempted to look at other people and think less of our positions or accomplishments, we need to remind ourselves of why we started in the first place and why we have stayed all this while. We should have those conversations with ourselves and the people around us that reaffirm what we already know about ourselves and the things we have. Because as human beings, we love affirmations and reaffirmations. affirmation

So, yeah… The grass does often look greener, but your grass probably looks greener to someone too, and maybe if you pay a little bit more attention to the good in your life, you’ll see all the greenness that others see in you!

 

Relationship Bants (Part 1)

So apparently today I’m posting about relationships. dance gif

When I was younger, I told myself I’d have one boyfriend. We would date for like 5-10 years and then get married.

5-10 years, because I’d meet him in secondary school (obviously I’d have to finish university and all that) then we’d have one of those high school happily ever after love stories! Boy was I in for a shock!

Lol, but I’m getting ahead of myself. So, because of this idea, I was very careful about the guys in my life.

check

Whenever I met a guy and I thought he was cute, I’d start going through my mental checklist. Christian. Check. Genotype. Check. Tribe. Check. Complexion. Check, Age. Check. Surname. Check (as per his surname had to rhyme with my first uno!)

Any guy that fitted my list would then be considered. Ah, I couldn’t make any mistakes in the process, and I felt a list would be fail-proof!

Now, let’s just ignore the fact that I was young and naive and didn’t even know what I deserved from a man.

Let’s also ignore the fact that whenever I thought a guy was potential bae, I would move things around on the list and take it to God like “You know he’s good for me yea?”. As if I was trying to convince God that my choice, even though I knew it was flawed would suddenly become great if I could just sell the idea to God! Lol. Anyways, long story short, my high school fairy tale did not happen.

lol

(I’m sure you can guess some of the reason why).

At some point in my life, I would have been upset by all the “almost” or “didn’t work out” relationships I’ve had in my life (calm down, they aren’t that many), but honestly, I’m not anymore.

I wasn’t ready then to be in a relationship, and I didn’t know it. I felt like I could make it work with whomever, as long as I loved the person. I ignored things like, what if the person didn’t have the same end goal as me? Or the same principles? Or the same beliefs?

I also ignored the fact that I was a highly emotional woman who ran away from conflicts, couldn’t say no to anyone, was a horrible people pleaser and did not think highly of herself at all! This meant that I attracted all sorts of people and I always felt like I deserved what I got. I also felt like I could be the “messiah” lol! As per, if the guy is a drunkard or a druggie or a cheat, I can save him from all that.

lmao

Some good loving and prayers should do the trick! Lol

I’m sure you all get the gist! But here’s the thing I want to point out.

Being in a committed relationship is more than a pretty face and a sexy body. It’s more than checklists and criteria’s. It shouldn’t be entered with idealism.

There is nothing wrong in being single, and there is nothing wrong in not being ready for a relationship. If you’re not ready, it’s really not a big deal, lol just sit down and relax. Work on yourself so when the right man or woman comes along, you can be the person he/she deserves. Don’t mess around with someone because you want to fit in.

Relationships are not overrated, but at the same time, you don’t need a relationship to be complete.

Now, all this plenty talk I’m doing stems from the fact that we tend to think maturity is directly related to age, but it really isn’t! You can be as old as you want and still not be ready or mature enough for a relationship. Your readiness is not determined by your age! Some people are ready at 18 others at 25 others at 35.

Don’t shout for love and relationship until you’re ready for it. It really isn’t worth the heartache and pain. Work on yourself, enjoy your singleness, enjoy getting to know yourself! It helps the process!single

And as to how you know you’re ready, well that post is for another day!

(P.s Before ya’ll start commenting, I’ve had and still have some pretty amazing guys in my life.) 

Thank you for reading today’s post! Please feel free to comment, share and like!

Dont forget to subscribe via email!

Trust Issues…

I grew up thinking trusting God was stress. I often felt like God just wanted me (and everyone else)  to trust Him so He could prove a point. I never really knew what the point was, but I sha felt that way.

However, in the last couple of weeks and months I’ve been learning about the nature of God, and here’s the thing that has reverberated over and over again. Everything God does, He does out of love. I mean, the Bible tells us that God Himself is love! (1 John 4:8)

take 3

So how does this relate to trust? Well, here’s the thing. Think back to the children of Israel, and when they were wandering around the wilderness. They complained about not having food, and God sent them manna. When he did, he gave them instructions, told them not to take more than they needed for the day.

Usually, I think about the whole story as: God wanted them to learn trust and depend on Him. Case closed story over. But today I realised there was more to it.

God loves us (mankind) more than we can imagine! It’s why He asked the Israelites to trust Him. I mean, He loves us so much, He doesn’t want us stressing about anything. He gives us what we need for the time, for the season and asks us to trust Him, not just because He knows our end from our beginning, but because He doesn’t want us over thinking and stressing our small brains over things that seem big to us but are tiny to Him.

 

 

no stress

He loves us so much that He wants us to just chill and literally only follow His lead. He’ll never lead us astray, He’ll never give us wrong directions or make any mistakes.

God is love. It is who He is to take care of us, to cherish us, to look out for us, to love us.

It’s like when two people get married and the husband plans a surprise honeymoon trip and tells his wife to trust him. It’s not because he’s trying to form bad ass or something (I mean, that might be a part of it, LOL) but at the bottom of all the forming, he is asking her to trust him because he loves her and has something amazing planned out for her.

If as humans we can trust the people we love, and those who love us, what more of God?!

At the root of everything God asks us to do is love.When you truly understand how much He loves you, trusting Him won’t be an issue. In fact, when you truly understand it, you’ll want to sit back, chill and let Him do His thing because you will know He has everything under control! You’ll understand that His love for you is like wine and you can literally get drunk on it.

sips

My take home message from this post is this. God isn’t testing you and trying you. He isn’t asking you to trust Him because He wants to see if you will fail. No. God is asking you to trust Him because He loves you THAT MUCH love gifand wants life to be stress-free for you. He wants life to be easy! And the beautiful thing is, if you trust Him, it will be!

Thanks for reading today’s post! I hope you enjoyed it!

Please feel free to comment, like, share! Don’t forget to subscribe via email!

 

Like A Butterfly

 

cropped-fullsizerender1.jpgLike a lot of young people, ladies I went through a phase in secondary school where I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I had this idea of what the perfect young lady looked like, how she acted and even how she thought and unfortunately, I didn’t fit into that pattern but all the girls at my school did.

idk2

There were so many things I tried doing in secondary school, but because I compared myself to other people and found myself lacking,  I stopped. I gave up.

It wasn’t as if I was bad at those things, not at all! I just felt like I wasn’t good enough and would never be good enough at them.Now that I look back, I realise that all that was just hogwash!!

You see, the problem was, I was focused on other people and comparing myself to them, instead of being the person I was made to be. I guess it’s one of the reasons I hate comparison. Because it cost me a lot when I was younger.

 

Fast-forward to last week. It would surprise you to know or maybe it won’t that last week, I found myself doing the same thing I did some 10 years ago! Comparing myself to people. And not even in useful productive things, nah, not there.

I found myself comparing myself to certain people on social media, and how they talk, their online persona, etc.

Today I realised it and I was just like, Can you see yourself? Like really, what exactly are you doing?

smh2.jpg

 

I don’t need to tell anyone all the cliché stuff we see/read/hear on the internet about comparison. I mean, we all know that we are meant to be ourselves and not other people etc.

However, the thing I do think we need to be reminded of is this.

We are who we are and we were created that way for a reason. If someone cannot accept you for who you are, then maybe the person doesn’t deserve such a high position in your life.

You were not created by mistake, nothing about you was/is a mistake. And I think there in lies the problem for a lot of people. We think there was some mistake when we were created. We think if we were smaller, bigger, taller, we’d be better. We think if we talked more or talked less we would be great. We think if we were anything but the way we are we would do better, and that’s just not true.

You are who you are for a reason, and God doesn’t make mistakes. There is a reason you are the way you are and that you can’t see it doesn’t make it less there.

At the end of the day, you are beautiful and perfect because you are the child of a beautiful and perfect God. No, this message isn’t just for people who are Christians by the way.

Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work at developing your skills, or work on making yourself better. No… I’m simply saying understand that you are amazing the way you are and the person to your right is amazing the way that person is. There’s no need to compare. It’s as simple as that. Do your own thing the way you know how. Somebody out there loves you just like that. And if you think nobody does, well God loves you just the way you are and tbh His love is really the most amazing love you can ever experience!

loved

I guess the moral of the story is this. Love yourself the way you are! The more you love yourself, the more you will flourish and blossom into a butterfly!

Thanks for reading today’s post! Don’t forget to subscribe via email!

Feel free to share, like, comment!

 

I’m back!

pnWo3I can’t believe it’s August already! I mean, I can, but it’s just a bit dumbfounding. So many things have happened in the last couple of months, but that’s a story for another post!

I know I’ve been gone for a minute, but I’m sure it will please you to know that I have been working on some cool stuff, so keep your eyes open for them!

So, to today’s post.

Today I want to share a bit about myself  🙂 . I’m not a celebrity who gets asked hundreds of questions daily, but I do know that some of the people who read my blog haven’t a clue about who Sharon Bolanta is. So here it goes!

who_am_i_clipart2

My name is Sharon Bolanta, I am a PhD student at the University of Limerick and I have a B.Sc. in Pharmaceutical and Industrial Chemistry.

I am a Christian and I love it! Every day is a beautiful day when you know you are loved by The One who loves with reckless abandon! I cannot remove myself from my faith, or my faith from me.

I love writing. I write articles, poems and I dabble in “spoken word” now and again.

I am a fan of unconventional things, and I often think if people could see the thoughts that go on in my head they would be scandalized!

About my writing. I write because there is so much to say! I mean, we live in a world that has a warped idea of how things should be (in my opinion) and so many people feel hopeless because of the ideas and ideologies that society has placed on them. They feel locked in a box (I used to feel that way) alone and without a voice. They feel like they don’t belong, or like they have to conform to a certain way of life simply because it is all they know. I don’t think it has to be and for me, having certain conversations is the first step in showing people that they really do have a choice and life doesn’t always have to be a pot of beans!

Lol, okay, so I got carried away there! Anyways, here are some more random facts about myself. I found the questions on the internet!

img_20160724_123216

  1. What is your favourite colour?

I do not have one! I am partial to blue, purple and red which considering all things are almost the same thing!

  1. How tall are you?

I am about 1.72m I think. I might be taller, I don’t really know.

  1. Cats or Dogs

Dogs!  I grew up always having dogs as pets so I am a bit partial to them.

  1. How many countries have you visited?

Do airports count? Lol, I am joking. I have been to 5 and I have like 30 more to go to!

  1. Tea or Coffee?

Both! I don’t like black tea though. Herbal teas are my thing. I used to have tea collection a few years ago. But then, coffee is just something else. I love the taste, especially all the fancy coffees. Plus with my job, you need a few cups of coffee a day!

  1. Are you single or Taken?

El oh el. I am married to the Lover of my soul!

  1. How would you describe your fashion sense?

Comfortable. I like to look nice, but I will almost always choose comfort over fashion. I also tend not to follow fashion trends because I usually do not like them, or I really just can’t be bothered.idk

  1. What are some of your favourite tv shows?

Grey’s Anatomy is currently the main hit. I enjoy(ed) the Good Wife, White Collar, House, Gilmore Girls, How to Get Away with Murder, Riverdale (waiting impatiently for the next season) etc.

  1. What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)

Android. However, if you want to bless me with a new one (iOS maybe!) I won’t say no!

  1. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Hahaha, I should let my friends answer this one! Not every morning. In fact, not most mornings. I hardly eat breakfast

  1. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

10 maybe? Not more than 12 sha. Feel free to buy me some more if you want to!

  1. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I am starting to use it more often thanks to some friend of mine! They know themselves!

 

That’s it for today guys! Thank you for reading today’s post.

Feel free to share, like and comment!

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑