Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings


March 2014

Join Me??

So, this week has been crae crae 😥 I’ve gone through everything I could possibly go through in a week and I swear down I  don’t think I can cope!

lol, don’t mind this weird intro :p I was gonna make it something cool, but decided to go with honesty 😀

Anyhow, my last post was a bit depressing I think.. lol, I’ve been in a somewhat depressed mood.. but any-ways, I decided to post something somewhat cheerful (hopefully) today!

I’m taking a little journey, a journey of self discovery, of finding myself and my vision.

it might not be fun, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it.                                                  Image

You probably wonder why, why this need  for sudden discovery.

But the truth is, in all the so called  order and control my life,

Lies a bed confusion in which I now lie!

I’ve figured out something, something I’ve known all along.

This life is yours and yours alone,

If you decide to “throw” it all away, even for your “bestie”

You’ll live with that choice all your life.

I’ve been throwing my life away..

“Throwing” sounds wasteful, so allow me rephrase that.

I’ve been giving the better years of my life to people who don’t care..

Don’t get me wrong, those given years have made me stronger

But now I’m strong enough to stand,

And now, my eyes are wide open, and I see what has always been before me.

It might take a while, but I’ll get there.

This journey has just begun, but I know it’ll be worth it

I’ll find myself and I’ll love who I find.

I’ll discover the real me, who has been in hiding for a while.

So, will you join me? In this journey of self discovery?

Maybe in joining me, you’ll see the need to take a journey of your own,

Or maybe find a deeper appreciation for knowing the real you..

Either ways, I’m going on a journey,

Wish me luck cause I wont be back till I find the real me! 😀


My Reality

My posts come from somewhere deep inside, and I guess my insides aren’t as pretty as everyone thinks. So here is another post from the not so pretty side of my inside 🙂 Hope you like it!

Its funny how we deny the reality of what we feelImage
We feel like crap, yet smile and say I’m great!
We feel unloved, yet  pretend we’re loved by all
We feel not so pretty, yet we wear all the make-up,

And tell ourselves I’m as good as any girl out there!

Don’t get me wrong, being strong is great!!
Standing up and refusing to be depressed is amazing!!!
But denying what you feel isn’t the key

You love him with all your heart,
Yet when you see him kiss her, you smile and pretend you’re happy for them..
You’re failing that course so bad its not even funny any more,
Yet when asked, you say “am grand sure, its not that bad!”
You have issues with food and your weight,
Yet you tell everyone, ” I just don’t like food, or I’m not hungry, Or I like myself just the way I am!”

Denial never gets you anywhere!
Face the problem head on and you  might just find peace,
Accept what you have and use it to get what you want,
Don’t pretend you have it all, when you know you’re on the brink of a fall,
Cause its much harder to get up from the floor than from a chair..
You may think, “what does she know?”
But trust me, I speak from experience, ‘Cause  I’ve found that pretence,

Has become my reality..

So, this morning I was on instagram, looking through my old pictures, and I came across a picture of myself that I had put up. It was a pic mix of two pictures… one from 2009, and the second from 2013. I looked at the picture and it got me thinking, and now, I’m here to share those thoughts with you!

They say time flies…

I’d have to agree with them!

5 years gone by, with the blink of an eye

I remember thinking then, will it ever end?

I remember asking, will I never have a friend?

All I could see was darkness, not a hint of light

It seemed like I’d be in the darkness for the rest of my life

Now 5 years later, things have changed

I see things differently, but still the same

Every phase of life, comes with its darkness and light.

I stepped out of the old  darkness and into the light,

But it seems like a new darkness is snuffing out that light

So how then can I survive

If in every phase of life a new darkness snuffs out the light?

…. To Be Continued


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