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Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings

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Everything!

GIFTS FOR THE ARTIST IN YOUR LIFE

I’m back!

pnWo3I can’t believe it’s August already! I mean, I can, but it’s just a bit dumbfounding. So many things have happened in the last couple of months, but that’s a story for another post!

I know I’ve been gone for a minute, but I’m sure it will please you to know that I have been working on some cool stuff, so keep your eyes open for them!

So, to today’s post.

Today I want to share a bit about myself  🙂 . I’m not a celebrity who gets asked hundreds of questions daily, but I do know that some of the people who read my blog haven’t a clue about who Sharon Bolanta is. So here it goes!

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My name is Sharon Bolanta, I am a PhD student at the University of Limerick and I have a B.Sc. in Pharmaceutical and Industrial Chemistry.

I am a Christian and I love it! Every day is a beautiful day when you know you are loved by The One who loves with reckless abandon! I cannot remove myself from my faith, or my faith from me.

I love writing. I write articles, poems and I dabble in “spoken word” now and again.

I am a fan of unconventional things, and I often think if people could see the thoughts that go on in my head they would be scandalized!

About my writing. I write because there is so much to say! I mean, we live in a world that has a warped idea of how things should be (in my opinion) and so many people feel hopeless because of the ideas and ideologies that society has placed on them. They feel locked in a box (I used to feel that way) alone and without a voice. They feel like they don’t belong, or like they have to conform to a certain way of life simply because it is all they know. I don’t think it has to be and for me, having certain conversations is the first step in showing people that they really do have a choice and life doesn’t always have to be a pot of beans!

Lol, okay, so I got carried away there! Anyways, here are some more random facts about myself. I found the questions on the internet!

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  1. What is your favourite colour?

I do not have one! I am partial to blue, purple and red which considering all things are almost the same thing!

  1. How tall are you?

I am about 1.72m I think. I might be taller, I don’t really know.

  1. Cats or Dogs

Dogs!  I grew up always having dogs as pets so I am a bit partial to them.

  1. How many countries have you visited?

Do airports count? Lol, I am joking. I have been to 5 and I have like 30 more to go to!

  1. Tea or Coffee?

Both! I don’t like black tea though. Herbal teas are my thing. I used to have tea collection a few years ago. But then, coffee is just something else. I love the taste, especially all the fancy coffees. Plus with my job, you need a few cups of coffee a day!

  1. Are you single or Taken?

El oh el. I am married to the Lover of my soul!

  1. How would you describe your fashion sense?

Comfortable. I like to look nice, but I will almost always choose comfort over fashion. I also tend not to follow fashion trends because I usually do not like them, or I really just can’t be bothered.idk

  1. What are some of your favourite tv shows?

Grey’s Anatomy is currently the main hit. I enjoy(ed) the Good Wife, White Collar, House, Gilmore Girls, How to Get Away with Murder, Riverdale (waiting impatiently for the next season) etc.

  1. What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)

Android. However, if you want to bless me with a new one (iOS maybe!) I won’t say no!

  1. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Hahaha, I should let my friends answer this one! Not every morning. In fact, not most mornings. I hardly eat breakfast

  1. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

10 maybe? Not more than 12 sha. Feel free to buy me some more if you want to!

  1. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I am starting to use it more often thanks to some friend of mine! They know themselves!

 

That’s it for today guys! Thank you for reading today’s post.

Feel free to share, like and comment!

20th December 2016

img-20161204-wa0000The day has finally come!

It has been an interesting journey these last few days, and today is the last day of the journey.

I just want to say a big thank you to everyone that has followed my posts for the last 20 days. It is because of you guys that I have pushed myself to do this. Thank you for all the likes, comments, shares, etc. The love has been amazing!

Before I drop my pen for a while, I have one thing that I am thankful for which I haven’t mentioned.

I am thankful for art in every form it comes in and I am thankful specifically today for good music! LOL, what would this world be without good music?

In honour of today being my birthday I decided to do something nice for someone. So… some new music will be coming your way soon (not from me! lol).

Keep an eye on this space and let me know what you think!

Thank you for reading today’s post. Don’t forget to subscribe via email.

4 Down, 16 To Go!

img-20160619-wa00052016 like many years in the past, has been full of interesting moments. A lot of growth and new experiences. They haven’t all been pleasant, to be honest.

Writing today’s post is actually proving quite difficult for me, why? Well, for a number of reasons, I guess one would be that it’s not something I am sure I have dealt with in its entirety, so I cant even be sure how this post will progress or even end.

I don’t know who this word is for, but I know it is for someone, because I’m pretty sure  lot of people have been in this position before and need a bit of encouragement.

The year is coming to an end, I mean, like play like play 2016 is almost over, and the time has come to let go and forgive those people. You now the ones I’m talking about. The one’s that hurt you, the ones that used you, lied to you, took advantage of you…

Sure, its probably not what you wanted to hear and it’s probably something you’re hesitant to do. And chances are you’re not even sure why its so hard, but you see, the time has come.

You need to forgive and let go of the hurt. It’s not just for their benefit,but for yours too. Holding unto the hurt inflicted by people is one of the easiest ways to stop  yourself from moving forward. It paints the way you see life and often times its stops you from doing things you would love to do simply because of past hurts.

So my word for you today is this, the time has come to let go of the hurt that has been inflicted on you by friends and family. The time has come to put those things aside. Its not easy, I wont lie about that, but its necessary.

 

So, today, in the midst of everything thing that has happened this year, I am thankful for everyone that has hurt me. I am thankful for all the pain I’ve had to go through this year, all the unpleasant situations. It hasn’t been fun, but it’s over, I have learnt and I have grown, and so I am thankful.

Thanks for reading today! Don’t forget to subscribe via email!

For more on this topic, you can visit my podcast here

Don’t Jump Ship

Story time!

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Today I have a story to tell. It’s a story of something I re-learnt about an hour ago or so.

So, here it goes. After a long day at work, I set out with the hopes of working on my podcast. I left work early ’cause 1. its Friday, 2. I wasn’t getting anything done and 3. I wanted to work on my podcast and get it done ASAP so I could go home and sleep!

But you know how this life is, the time that you want to do something quickly, that’s when all the odds will be against you! Anyways, so I packed my things and went to library to work on my podcast. I usually record on my phone so the first thing I do  is transfer the file to the computer.

So, first things first, I wanted to transfer the recording, but for some unkown reason, the computer just refused to open the folder it was in. I unplugged, replugged, started, stopped, did everything my mind could think of, but this thing refused to budge. I even started deleting stuff from my phone cause I figured the phone was too full and that’s why the computer wasn’t opening the folder. But as fate would have it, nothing worked. At this point in time, I wanted to cry. I mean, I had had a long day, I was hungry and tired, and there I was for at least 30 minutes waiting for the thing to open and it just wouldn’t.

But then from no where, a thought came to me

“just walk away. Its not like that many people listen to your podcast, so even if you don’t post it today who will notice?”

 The next thought that followed was

“you might as well just give up the whole thig sef, all this one you’re doing, who’s life is it affecting anyways?”

Lol. Funny thing was, I actually believed those thoughts, and I told myself to pack up my things and just go home, I’d come back tomorrow and try again. But before I could do that, another thought came to me. The thought was simple

“running away wont fix anything. Plus, if you don’t deal with the problem today you’ll have to deal with it tomorrow”

 and just like that, I realized the truth in it.

A lot of times in life, we like to run. It isn’t working as fast as we want, so we run to something else in hopes that it will work out for us. He/she isn’t giving you enough attention so you move to someone else with the hopes that said person will give you the attention you desire. The money isn’t coming in as fast as you want so you jump ship and hope the next ship you get on will give you what you want ASAP.

But life doesn’t work like that. You cant jump ship every time you hit a hurdle. You have to stick with it, work on it and overcome it. Not every time change your mind. You cant run away from everything that isn’t going the way you would like it to go because rarely does life ever go the way we desire!

The funny part of this whole story is this, the minute I realized I was trying to jump ship, and the last thought crossed my mind, I figured out another way to get my recording unto the computer…LOL

Sometimes God uses the most “inconvenient” ways to teach us lessons, lessons we would ignore otherwise.

So as you read this, I’d like you to know that I stuck with it and after lots of trying, I was finally able to work on my podcast. 🙂

Is there something you’re tempted to give up on? A project, a relationship? If you haven’t tried all the available options and then some, don’t give up, don’t jump ship, because sometimes, the point at which you are about to give up, is the point at which your answer shows up.

You can check out my podcast at http://shaybolanta.podbean.com

Photo credit: Iyke Ibeh

Don’t forget to subscribe by email!

 

 

I Wasn’t Ready!!!

img_20160619_113623 Usually when I say this, it’s most likely because someone took a picture of me while I was talking or thinking of what pose to strike, and hence I’d respond with, “but I wasn’t ready now!”  However,that phrase took on a new meaning to me a few months ago.

While I was still in my final year of University , I was looking to apply to different schools because I wanted to pursue a Master’s degree program. However, my final year project supervisor thought I would be a perfect candidate to do a PhD under him. Now, to be honest, I wasn’t very enthusiastic about the whole PhD thing. I mean, I was just rounding up 4 years of school… I didn’t want to do 4 more. But he wasn’t having any of that! So, as the good daughter that I am, I brought the issue to my parents, and to my utter surprise, they wanted me to do it! Ah, I couldn’t deal.

Anyways, I had to apply for funding and people were like, success rate for this funding is only 10%, so I wasn’t feeling too optimistic like that. I mean, 10% and there would be people who had Master’s degrees, better QCA’s, more work experience etc.

So I was pretty chill, I didn’t think about it much. Once the application process was over, I focused on graduating from Uni and I even applied to some Master’s programs.

The results were meant to come out in June, but they didn’t. Now, I was a bundle of nerves, because in as much as I didn’t like the idea of 4 more years in school, the thought of getting the funding was exciting. Fast forward to July and one evening, while I’m in my room, I get an email…. And lo and behold I got the funding!

For the next few days, everyone was congratulating me, calling me Dr. Sharon, praising God, telling me they knew I’d get it, etc. For me, I was still in shock.

The following week though, it finally hit me. I was going back to Ireland. I was going to do a PhD. This wasn’t part of the plan! Things just got complicated, and I wasn’t ready, so I cried.

I think it’s safe to say I cried almost every day for like a month (Lol, joking!).

Everyone was so happy for me, but all I could think was, “I’m not ready”. I hadn’t made my peace with it, I hadn’t planned on it, I wasn’t prepared for it.

Because I wasn’t optimistic about getting the funding, I didn’t even do basic research on the whole process, and fam, now that it had happened I was just overwhelmed. For a long time I just didn’t know what to do or how to act. On the outside I was all smiles, but on the inside I felt helpless…

That experience taught me something. Sometimes we aren’t ready for what life throws our way. Those times are scary. So very scary and often we get caught up in the fact that we aren’t ready. We didn’t plan it all out, we don’t have it all figured. However, God is faithful and He has honestly given us the grace to overcome the things that come our way. Most times though, it doesn’t seem that way. It legit feels like life is spiralling out of control. But that you and I feel like everything is going out of control doesn’t mean that it is.

So sure, it’s scary and I still don’t feel 100% ready, but I’m here, and whether I’m ready or not, I’m going to do this thing. I have to spread my wings and fly. Sometimes that’s all it takes. You don’t realize how strong you are, or how capable you are until you find yourself in a position where you don’t have any other reasonable option and you just have to have a go at it.

Life isn’t in the habit of waiting for us to get ready and things often change in the blink of an eye. There is no secret to dealing with unexpected events, life will go on with or without you. You have to decide to not be left behind. You have to decide to move on even when it seems like you’re crippled with fear and anxiety.

You have to move, because if you don’t move, you will be left behind, and you will miss out on the wonderful opportunities that lie ahead.

Don’t forget to subscribe by email!

Follow me on IG + Twitter @shayrunn, also check out my podcast at http://www.shaybolanta@podbean.com

Please like, share and comment!

 

 

Choices…Choices

So I wasn’t going to post this. I wasn’t even going to put down these thoughts because my mind was conflicted.

However, the thought has been with me since last night and I’m learning not to hesitate when it comes to sharing.

So here it goes.

choices

I grew up thinking I never had a choice. I guess as a child that was all fine and good because I was a child and as such I couldn’t make a lot of decisions for myself.However, as I grew up and grew older I still felt like I never had a choice. I felt like my life was set in stone and I could never question anyone. If I was told to do something I never thought I could say no. I always felt like I had to agree to everything and accept everything. I had opinions and I had views, I had thoughts concerning issues, but it just never occurred to me that I could choose. It never occurred to me that I could say no, that if I didn’t want to do something I didn’t have to. I mean, I did things for the mere reason that I was asked to do them. Even things I didn’t agree with and things I low key felt were wrong.

The realisation that I had a choice in everything, a choice in life came to me when I was reading Chimamanda Adichie’s book “Americanah”. It was then I realised that you always have a choice. In EVERYTHING. Nothing is set in stone and if something makes you uncomfortable you have the right the choose and the right to back away and the right to say no.

It’s such a simple revelation, but I know I’m not the only person who has felt like they never had a choice. But hey, you do have a choice. Your choices may not please everyone, actually, they most definitely will not please everyone, but that’s fine. You were not brought to this world to make everyone happy.

So the next time you’re faced with a decision, the next time someone asks you to do something, or tells you to do something, the next time you feel stuck in life, remember this. You have a choice. You have a choice to move on, a choice to grow, a choice to achieve. You have a choice to do whatever you want to do. Nothing is set in stone and honestly, in most cases the worst that’ll happen is someone might be disappointed. But like I said. You didn’t come to this world to please everyone, you didn’t come to this world to do things simply because you were asked. You have a choice, it’s your life and therefore you have a say. In the things you do, the places you go, the people you interact with and everything in between !

Thank you for reading today’s post 🙂

Dont forget to subscribe by email!

Also, I have a podcast! Feel free to check it out at http://www.shaybolanta.podbean.com

 

In Other News

welcomeOver the last few weeks, God has been teaching me about obedience.It’s been a slow process to be honest, ’cause I’m very stubborn and when God says do something, I just like to give Him all the reasons why I shouldn’t or why its not a great idea!

One of the verses God has been using to teach me is Genesis 26:4-5

“I will make your descendants as numerous as the starts in the sky and I will give them all these lands, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because Abraham obeyed me and did everything I required of him, keeping my commands, my decrees and my instructions.

There are blessings attached to obedience and you have to learn to obey God in the little things He asks of you, and in everything He asks of you.

If you’re wondering why God hasn’t given you more responsibilities, or hasn’t opened certain doors for you, ask yourself, “have I been obedient in the little that He has asked of me?” If you can’t obey Him when he says “talk to that young man over there” how then will you obey Him when He says “give your car to that sister” or “go and lay hands on that brother”

Anyways, I actually had no intention of writing all that, but O well, I guess God had other plans.

So the reason I decided to post today is simply to bring good news!

Remember when I ran a poll about starting a podcast? Well, *drum roll please* I have finally gotten my podcast up and running! I’m super excited about it, and even though I’m still working on the site and I’m under no illusion that it’s going to be all roses and ice cream, I am still excited for the journey!

You can listen to my very first episode here! I look forward to hearing your feedback!

Don’t forget to subscribe by email!

Twitter and IG @ shayrunn

To Be or Not To Be?!

We met some four years ago, and something in my soul just knew I needed to know this girl.

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Have you ever been so sure of something you would do anything for it, but you have no idea why?

This was the story of my friend and I…

I met her in my first year of University at a CU (Christian Union) meeting.
Now that I think about it. It all happened in a weird way.
Let me explain…

I wasn’t a part of the CU and that was like the first and last CU meeting I attended, and at the time, she wasn’t even a student at my Uni, so really, the chances of us meeting the way we did were very slim.

But anyways, back to my story.
It was a Christmas carol rehearsal like thing, and I was eager to meet other Christians at my school, so I decided to attend it.
So I’m sitting in the music room, not knowing anyone in the group, and in walks this beautiful black young lady. Now, the fact that she was black caught my attention, but what moved me was her voice! OMG! She sang a Christmas song, (I can’t even remember the song) but her voice blew me away, … I was low key jealous and desperately wanted to meet her *covers face*.
After the meeting, we talked and it was like we had known each other for ages! She told me her name, where she was from, etc and the rest was history!
Funny thing about this story is that, after the rehearsal, and the actual Christmas carol thing, I didn’t see this young lady for over a year! To make things worse, both of us weren’t necessarily the best at communicating so it wasn’t like we were talking 24/7 or even once a month or anything like that either!
So, all this happened December 2012.
Fast forward to the spring of 2014 and we finally saw ourselves after all that time, and just like that, we picked up from where we left off!
Again, it was like we had been friends forever, it was like no time had passed at all.
Between 2014 and 2016 we had about 9 months were we had absolutely zero communication, but for some reason, the thought of deleting her number or moving on with my life without her was just not something I could consider.
Now, the thing is, I love Miss X. No she isn’t perfect, and we have a LOT of differences, but I love her, and I will always fight for what we have, because ours was no meeting of chance. It was ordained by God. She inspires me to be a better person and every minute spent with her is a minute spent learning something new.

Sometimes God brings people specifically into our lives, and those people have a purpose in our lives. However, in some cases, you have to fight to keep those relationships going. Not because both of you can’t stand the sight of each other, or because you never have anything to talk about.

Sometimes it’s because you both live in two different time zones and your night time is his/her day time, or because you both work crazy hours and finding time is really hard etc. it could be for a number of reasons, but the thing is, some relationships are worth it.
When you have someone in your life, that you love unconditionally, you fight for that person. You don’t think of the fact that he/she hasn’t replied to your last 10 messages and hasn’t picked your last 20 calls. You don’t think about the fact that you haven’t seen yourselves in ages or any of those things. I mean, sure, it hurts when your texts go un-answered and maybe you even say to yourself, this is the last straw! I give up! But, if its set up by God, even when you’ve said it’s the last straw, somehow, when he/she calls you, at 1 am and says “I need you” you forget all that. And when it’s 1 am and you call him/her and you don’t get his/her voicemail… then you know it’s worth it.
Because the moments you have together, the memories you share. The tears you’ve cried, the songs you’ve sang and the prayers you’ve prayed all come back to you, and you remember why it’s all worth it.

Love is not selfish, and love bears all things. Some relationships are legitimately worth fighting for.. Not all of them, but some..
And when you do find such relationships/people, you should fight for them with all you’ve got, cause believe it or nah, those are not things you find every day.

To be honest she is one of the only people I have ever experienced this sort of friendship with. Sure I have other friends whom I love dearly and unconditionally, but this one, lol, has been an interesting ride. But believe it or not, I would do it again.
Maybe I’m the only one who has experienced something like this, but I doubt that…
I would love to hear your stories too if you have any!

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