Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings


January 2016

The Casuality of Sex (II)

So I wrote a part one to this, and since I wrote a part one I felt compelled to write a part two… However, I’d like  to just point out that even though they have the same title these posts can both be read as separate entities! Having said that, if you’d like to read part one, click here!


I grew up seeing sex as reserved for a man and his wife alone. Not a man, his wife and his girlfriend. Or a man, his girlfriend and his side chick! The fact that those things are very rampant in society is heartbreaking! Because, not only has society turned sex into a casual affair, it has also turned faithfulness in relationships into a rare commodity!!

You see, as a Christian, when you have extramarital sex, it’s actually called adultery! We hardly ever hear this term being used though! I guess it’s a bit too strong and a bit too offensive for society. That however doesn’t make it less true.

But let’s leave marriage for now!



As an individual, I find it hard to wrap my head around this concept of a side chick… The woman commonly referred to as “the other woman” . To me it’s pretty black and white! Like I’m very accepting and liberal in my thinking, and I have tried to understand and even accept this (in more ways than one) but I really can’t budge on it! If you love her, then you don’t cheat on her! Life is too short for those kind of games! If you see someone else that you like, why not just end it with the first person and get together with the second? This goes for both men and ladies! Cause, I mean… You’re not married! Nothing is forcing you to stay with said partner, so why cheat? Why date two people at the same time?!

To me… It shows a lack of contentment, but more than that, it shows a lack of faithfulness, that in my opinion will probably transcend from the realm of dating to the realm of marriage….

Maybe I’m wrong! Maybe it’s just me and my old fashion way of thinking, but to me, faithfulness is a big deal! Same way sex is a big deal!

So before I go, I’ll just say this. Before  you choose to have a sexual relationship with your partner, think about why you’re doing it, think about the consequences, think about the future and then act accordingly. It doesn’t matter what your race, religion or gender is. A lot goes on during sex that is beyond the physical, and it would be great if we stopped being so casual about it (and a lot of other thing to be honest).

Finally! When it comes to faithfulness, in the words of some unknown wise man, ” You can’t have your cake and eat it!”

These are my random thoughts what are yours?! I look forward to reading your thoughts and comments! 

PhotocreditEjike Manny Photography. For more pictures like these check him out on IG  @ejikemanny! 


The Casuality of Sex (Part I)

Yes, I realise casuality is not a recognised word in the English language, but hey, English changes everyday! 

Casuality (as defined by Sharon Bolanta): The casual nature by which certain things are treated.

Wedding Pic

I have a very close circle of friends… I like it that way. I don’t really meet new random people per say.. Whenever I meet someone new, it’s probably a friend of a friend or something like that.

However, last year, I decided I’d be a tad bit more spontaneous.. So this year, when random people say hi to me, instead of ignoring them, I actually respond nicely :)..

This week, was my first time of being this nice person.. And something quite interesting happened.

Twice I was approached/offered cyber-sex, by two random people who had no clue who I was or anything at all about me.

The funny part was, there was no warm up.. There was no talking up to it.

It was like “I’m bored, let’s have sex!”

Now, maybe this is normal to people out there, but to me, it was a shock to my system, cause like, they didn’t know me.. Funny part was, one was a lady, and she didn’t care to know if I was straight or not..  she could have at least asked me!

Anyways, I thought about it for all of 5 minutes and I was like  but why were you surprised? Over the last few weeks I had been discussing with my mother how people have turned sex into such a casual affair.. Like now a days, it means absolutely nothing. You hook up with people just cause they are attractive, or you’re drunk or something like that.

I’m a Christian, and I don’t believe in pre martial sex.. Now, even if I wasn’t a Christian, I still cannot imagine myself being so casual about it.

Like yo.. its sex, it’s a joining, I’m being joined to you for that time. A bond is being formed, no matter how small, how weak, or how brief, It is being formed…. and in my opinion it should be special or at the very least be reserved for people who are more than mere strangers, and no, knowing my name, age, relationship status and occupation does not mean you know me…

And so, I cannot imagine why anyone would be okay with having sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry.. Or every Mary, Amanda and Joy.. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Yes.. I realise I’m probably one of the only few who think this way, but that’s my opinion.

No, I don’t expect you to agree with me, I don’t expect you to all of a sudden change your ways or any of that jazz…

I just think we should all think about the real reason why we do things and maybe some of us need to learn the art of self-control.

These are my thoughts… What are yours?

Disclaimer: As a Christian, I believe sex (sexual intercourse) is specifically reserved for married couples.

Photo credit: Ejike Manny Photography. For more amazing wedding pictures, you can follow him on IG @ejikemanny!

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