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Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings

Month

May 2014

To Love or Not to Love….

    So, today is one of those days, where I have something on my mind and everything else just refuses to make sense because of this something that’s on my mind. The funny part of today’s mind disturbing thought chain thingy, is I can’t quite place what is actually on my mind, so I’m writing and hopefully somewhere along the line this will make sense

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     I might be writing stuff that some people might find offensive so please if you are of the light hearted/minded kind, I would beg you not to read this. If you are also of the judgemental kind, I would tell you to take your judging self out of my blog 🙂

    Now to the main talk, so the other day, I was talking to a friend, and I was looking for a topic to write on and he gave me this topic, I hope you can relate in some way and I also hope this isn’t an unusually long post!

          Hello, my name is Stacy, I’m 20 years old, not married but I have a  little girl. I won’t say my baby girl was a mistake because she isn’t. Yes I didn’t plan to get pregnant, but it happened. Yes I had sex with my boyfriend and I liked it. I’m Christian and I know that premarital sex is wrong as a Christian, but I’m not gonna lie and say it was a mistake, he forced me, or any of that. I made the choice, it was wrong maybe, but I made it. I’m not necessarily proud of it, and given the chance I probably won’t make the same choice again, but the deed has already been done. I don’t go out much anymore tho, cause everyone is always pointing fingers, and I feel them judging me, and don’t tell me they aren’t , cause a couple of them have done it to my face.

          Hi, my name is Sam, I’m 19 years old and I’m addicted to porn and sex chatting and all other things related to sex. I didn’t plan for things to happen that way, but they did. Every day I struggle with my desires and some days I win other days I don’t. It’s hard because no one understands. Everyone thinks it’s just so easy to let go of these things.. I don’t talk to anyone about it, because I know everyone will be too busy judging me to see my inner struggles.

         Hi, I’m gonna be anonymous because I’m not ready yet. A couple of nights back I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It was an in act of passion. I didn’t want to happen that way, but it did. A part of me kept trying to tell him to stop, but I physically couldn’t do it.. It was a bitter sweet experience, but at the end, it left me feeling like id lost something. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell anyone this personally, because I can already imagine what they would have to say about me.. And frankly, I’m not ready to deal with that.

        Hey.. My name isn’t important to be honest.. You see that guy that every girl wants to be with? Yea, that’s me! At a different club every night, different girls by my side, I get laid literally whenever I want. I drink as much as I want, I smoke a joint every now and then, heck you could say I’m living the life!

     Unfortunately I’m not.. I haven’t been home in years and I don’t have real friends. Why? Because when I started drinking and going to clubs, my friends and family said I was a bad influence, and sure maybe I was, but all they did was condemn my lifestyle and so.. I left, and I’m not going back any time soon..

      Hmmm… those were interesting stories don’t you think??! I’m sure everyone/someone maybe no one is kinda curious as to why those stories are there, seeing as I’m not a journalist or any of that.. Well, first I’d like to ask, does anyone relate to those people and what they feel? The judgement for their actions by people who probably do worse.. Well I do! I feel like I’m constantly judged for things I’ve done in the past, and do know what irks me the most? It’s the fact that, the people pointing fingers and gossiping and judging have done worse and do worse!

   Just because your sins have not been exposed does not give you the right to point fingers at people and say stuff about them. You do not know the situation, you do not know how they got there, or what they feel, so for the love of all things beautiful do not say judgy things about them.

   You know something that just pisses me off?? Hypocrisy, and that’s it, right there! You, sitting all high and mighty, telling everyone, “oh you shouldn’t do this” or ” you shouldn’t do that” when you engage in activities much worse than that! It frustrates me, because you do not know where those people are coming from, yes some intentionally do what they do, but you still don’t have a right to point fingers at them and judge them. Love them, in spite of what they do, that you deem wrong.. Love them! If those things are really wrong, then maybe your display of love will cause them to change! If you’re a praying man/woman and you feel at the moment you can’t physically love them, then pray for them, because that right there is a beautiful display of love, and if you don’t pray and you don’t think you can love them, then mind your *insert curse word* business.. Because judging and condemning when you do the same thing and worse, isn’t helping!

   People need to know, that they are loved in spite of their mistakes and what they have done in life. If you cannot love a person, then please back off and allow others love the person.

Disclaimer: Every one mentioned in this post is a work of fiction and any semblance they bear to anyone is merely a coincidence!

The Eyes of the Beholder

What’s up beautiful people?! So, how is everyone doing? If you’re like me you’re probably really tensed ish about exams and stuff! but smiling and being like “Its all good bro!” lol, I make myself laugh sometimes!! 

Anyways, I started working on this piece a while back, and its actually not finished, I haven’t even gone half way yet! lol,  but I figured I’d put it out there, just to see what everyone thought.. I’m trying to explore my creative side! Tell me what you think please! This one goes out to a friend of mine! Enjoy 🙂

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When you behold my face, what do you see?

The scars from battles long  fought? Etched into my face like the inscriptions on a tomb?

The stains from the dirt of my words and actions?

Do you see the mountains of hurt and the valleys of depression?

The scars left by the erosion of what was once green meadows?

The upside down smile, a depression in an ocean bed?

The stone cold eyes.. Icy glares ready to freeze the Sahara?

Mouth spewing flames that set every thing they come in contact aflame?

When you behold my face, what do you see?

Do you see laughing eyes, forever sharing the secrets to joy?

Shining rays that warm even the coldest of souls?

A feisty mouth, flowing with words of  encouragement, words to caress bleeding hearts?

Do you see listening ears, a storehouse for  words  uttered?

An ocean swallowing ships of hate and anger, and never letting them go?

The mark of beauty found in a single rose surrounded by thorns

Do you see the good? Or the bad? The beautiful or the not so beautiful?

When you behold my face, what do you see?

The thing with beauty is its relative to the beholder

The beauty by the street meets devastation behind closed doors

Some see the scars of defeat others the crown of pure gold…

To be Continued…

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