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Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings

Month

March 2018

Unapologetically You … (II)

glasses

I’m one of those people who finds it hard to say no (I may or may not have mentioned this before). I’m better at it these days, but in the past, 9 out of 10 times I’d always say yes. You see, I often felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I thought if I  did what the people around me wanted, I would become good enough for them. LOL, let’s just say things didn’t quite work out that way.

I’m older now, and even though I haven’t completely mastered the art of saying no, I’m working on it – and this leads us to today’s post. Recently I was asked to do something. My first impulse was to say no because it was beyond my abilities at the time. However, I thought, “what would people say if they knew I said no”? I then told myself I was being silly for thinking I couldn’t do it (even though I knew there was no way I could deliver) and being the stubborn person that I am, I decided I would say yes! LOL, I’m sure my village people were laughing at me. Anyways, I said yes, then promptly decided I wouldn’t think about it. I mean, I knew I had this thing to do, but I didn’t want to stress about it, so I didn’t give it too much thought. I did all that I could physically do and lived in denial for a while. As the deadline got closer though, I realized how unprepared I was and let’s just say things went south really really fast. facepalm

Looking back, I know I could have prevented all that by simply saying no, or saying I couldn’t deliver within the time frame. I could have avoided all that emotional and mental stress. I could have handled the situation in so many different ways, but I decided to go down the one way that would cause me the most stress. I knew it wouldn’t end well, but my fear of “what would they say” stopped me from making the right choice.

So here’s the thing, in being unapologetically you, you have to know who you are. You have to know your strengths and weaknesses, make the most out of them and protect them. If you know you get stressed easily, you need to remove yourself from stressful situations when you can and find less stressful ways to deal with them. If this means doing things straight away instead of leaving them until the last minute, then do that. Don’t sit in situations that will cause you to pull your hair out when the option to walk away is available.  It’s like eating chocolates even though you’re allergic to them just because you don’t want people to think you’re weird or because everyone is doing it. It doesn’t make sense!

Protect your peace of mind, your health and your joy and do it with pride

You can only protect what is yours if you know how too. What are the parts of yourself you are working on? What are your weaknesses? What are your strengths?  What are your unique qualities?  You can only protect and nurture them when you identify them. This isn’t to say don’t work on becoming a better you, but as you’re on that path, take care of yourself so you don’t jeopardize your progress.

When I first started my PhD, one of my colleagues said to me that she doesn’t work 7-day weeks because if she does she’ll become overly stressed and become useless to everyone. So she works 5-day weeks, goes to the gym, has a life outside of work and is productive as a result. She knows herself and she makes no apologies for being that way!no apologies

Your life is yours and yours alone. Protect your peace of mind, your health, and your joy and do it with pride. It doesn’t matter if they think it’s an anomaly. At the end of the day when you’re sick or stressed or worried, the people you were trying to live for most likely won’t be able to help.

Moral of the story, you know yourself better than anyone else. Don’t let the thoughts of people or society push you into a situation that robs you of your peace and joy.

Life is too short for you to be constantly stressed when you don’t have to be!

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Unapologetically You… (I)

IMG-20170914-WA0005As a personal blogger, writing can be hard at times. Especially when you’re trying to be honest and speak about the things that matter to you. There is a constant battle between how much information is okay and how much is too much. You wonder if people will actually understand the point you’re trying to make or if they’ll blow it out of proportion and be annoying.

I’d like to talk about mental health, faith, sex and sexuality, race and so many other things, but I often wonder how I can talk about those things without the accompanying backlash. It’s not necessarily that I am worried about what people will say about the topics, it’s the things people will say to me.

The internet can be mean and heartless sometimes and quite honestly I don’t want to be on the receiving end of that hate anytime soon. This in addition to some other things, has stopped me from writing about certain topics and doing some things. But you know what? I think that needs to change.change

How many times do we hold back on being the person we are meant to be because of what people will think/say? How many times do we hold back on saying what we really think because we think people won’t approve? For me, that’s like all the time. (as you might already know)

You’ve most likely heard this before, however, I’ll say it again. You only get one shot at doing life. You’ve been deposited with so much greatness, so many ideas, so many dreams. Don’t let the idea of someone’s hypothetical disapproval stop you from doing what you know you should be doing.

If you know for a fact, that this is where you should be and this is what you should be doing, then go ahead. Don’t let the people that will never approve (or will only approve when they are broke and need your money) stop you. rolling eyes

There’s so much in life that you can do, there is so much that you were created to be. Don’t let the world stop you. Step out of your comfort zone and do what needs to be done. People will talk no matter what you do. It’s just human nature. So don’t let what they’ll say stop you.

Also, in most cases, the things you think people are thinking, are most times false. Most times they are projections of our fears and insecurities. Sure they might think stuff, but it’s usually not as bad as you think and even if it is… who cares?  It’s your life, full of your dreams and your passions.

If you’ll let anything stop you, don’t let it be the thoughts and opinions of others.

Because you were made to be you. UNAPOLOGETICALLY You.

I’m a 20 something-year-old woman and people often ask me if I plan on getting married because  I’m doing a Ph.D. in polymers/materials. I hear it all the time (it’s ridiculous btw, but that’s a post for another day) but it won’t stop me from doing what I want to do. That’s one area of my life I have learned not to compromise on, but I think it’s time I took that attitude to the rest of my life. To my dreams, my thoughts, and my desires.

Moral of the story, don’t let the opinions and thoughts of others stop you from being you.

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Because you were made to be you. UNAPOLOGETICALLY You!

 

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comment and share.

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