Relationship Bants 2

I know ya’ll have been waiting for Relationship Bants 2, well, your wait is now over! But before I go into it, can I just say that if you haven’t listened to the cover album on my last post, you really, really need to give it a listen. It is absolutely refreshing and amazing! You can find it here

Alright, so let\’s jump into it, shall we?

Today I’m going to be quite brief because I don’t think I have the authority to tell you certain things, such as when you are ready to be in a relationship.

I say this because everyone is different. For example, when I was younger, I was told relationships were not for teenagers in secondary school, however, I know people who started dating in secondary school and 6-7 years later are still going strong. I also know people who waited until they were in college and ended things 3 months later. It’s pretty obvious that that specific grading curve for an individual’s readiness is not accurate. In the same way, everything I say today may or may not be applicable to you, but they are things I would personally consider before I hop into a relationship.

Before I start chatting rubbish, let me try to get my points across. We are all different people with different temperaments, which means we all have different strengths and weaknesses. How we deal with our strengths and weaknesses play a huge role in how ready we are to be in relationships (in my opinion). 

One of the major things, I think, is commitment. Remember that hurt bae video that was trending earlier this year??? The girl asked her boyfriend why he cheated on her, and the man straight up said he wasn’t ready for commitment!

That video struck a chord in me, cause often people say if you love someone you won\’t cheat on the person, but fam, I don’t agree with that. I think if you are not ready, or if you don’t want to commit to someone, it becomes easy to do things to hurt the person, not because you are a bad person, but because you are not ready to be in a relationship!

To me, its really simple, commitment is what keeps you together when things get bumpy or rough. Without it, things easily fall apart. So for me, it’s a big one. If you are not ready to commit then you are definitely not ready to be in a relationship.

Another thing is emotional maturity. This is sometimes hard to gauge, but there are clear markers that I would be on the lookout for. For example, someone who is emotionally abusive,  should not be in a relationship. It’s a big no no, and by emotionally abusive, I mean, if a person regularly makes you feel stupid or not good enough, or if a person is constantly making you feel like you are always wrong and they are always right, or they always play the victim I hate this one so much! or they lack empathy. Those are signs of emotional abuse and show a lack of emotional maturity. For example, Christian Grey from \”50 Shades of Grey\” lacked emotional maturity and in real life had no business being in a relationship! To be fair to him, he wasn’t really into that stuff until Anastasia, but that’s a story for another day! Anyways, long and short is, if you are not emotionally mature, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship.

This actually ties in with my next point, which is, if you cannot accept the fact that you are not always right, then fam, again, you have no business being in a relationship. There is no place for pride or self-righteousness in a relationship. You must be able to say you are wrong and you must be able to see reason. I mean, some people (both male and female) like to think they are always right. The can never be wrong. Ah, who died and made you God -_-. You can’t always be right, so sit down and learn to say \”I\’m sorry, I was wrong\”.

The last thing I’ll touch on is communication. This probably seems like an unnecessary addition to the list, but think about it for a minute and you’ll see how necessary it is. I mean, how do you expect to build something meaningful if you can’t talk?  If you can\’t communicate how you feel, or what you want, or your hopes and fears,  how do you expect to build and grow?

If you can\’t/won\’t/don’t want to have honest conversations with your significant other, then  I don’t think you are ready to be in a relationship.

Trust me, its very hurtful to be in a relationship where one person is unable to communicate, worse when both people cant!

At the end of the day, it’s hard for any one person such as myself to tell you when you are ready to be in a relationship because everyone is different. But relationships require a level of selflessness, levelheadedness and patience (plus all the things I listed above and more). If you don’t posses those things, maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all. There is nothing wrong in being single until you are ready. It saves the world a whole lot of heartache and pain.

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