From the archives

So today\’s post is something I actually wrote last year. I lowkey feel like I\’ve shared this before, but lol. Nothing wrong with sharing twice!

I remember how I used to pride myself in being this bad ass girl that never cried.

I told myself over and over again that I wouldn’t cry. It was like a mantra I repeated to myself ever so often. So no matter how hurt I was, I hardly ever cried. Nothing could faze me.

The few times I did cry, were times when I was extremely pissed off, and since I had also told myself I would work on my then explosive temper, crying was the only other option.

That was then… About two months ago, all that changed. Imagine my surprise and astonishment when all of a sudden, I started crying almost every day. The first time it happened, I blamed \”mother nature\” but the next few times, she wasn’t there to blame, and I was left trying to figure out what in the world was going on!

I started asking myself if I was okay, started questioning my mental and emotional health! Lol, I remember one Sunday morning, where I cried for most of the service! I\’m sure everyone thought I was under the influence of the Holy Spirit, Lol! The truth of the matter though was, I was hurting and all I could do at that point in time was cry.

I started losing weight, and I became quieter than I usually was. I avoided conversations and unless it was work related, or my family I avoided people too.

After a lot of searching within myself, I finally accepted the fact I was just really hurt and needed to allow myself deal with and process the hurt. Now, that isn\’t some story about how overnight I became better, or how I discovered the key to getting over hurt, far from it. I mean I did learn things during that time, but that isn\’t what today is about.

Now, that isn\’t some story about how overnight I became better, or how I discovered the key to getting over hurt, far from it.

I mean, I did learn things during that time, the most important being that it is important you allow yourself grieve when things happen. Brushing it under the carpet doesn\’t and will not fix anything, cause when you lift up the carpet, everything will be right where you left it.

It hurts to hurt, but feeling the hurt, in my opinion, is a sign that you are human, that you are alive; and where there is life, there is hope.  But I digress!

Often, we look at people, and they are all smiles, but inside they are hurting. Other times, people seemingly \”disappear\”, they go AWOL, and we are left wondering why… when this happens, don’t be too quick to judge them.

Everyone is different, and everyone handles pain differently.

Don’t be too quick to say \”this person doesn’t even care.\” It could be that they are hurting and just need a little time and a heap loads of love.

Everyone is different, and we all deal with things differently. It is so important to be nice to people, you don’t see how your actions affect them. Sometimes a smile is all a person needs to feel better about themselves and their situation. Simple things like text messages go a long way. Allow your actions speak. Not everytime only saying \”I love you\” sometimes (most times actually) show it. 

Learn about the people you meet, learn to give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people need patience, lots of it, while others don’t. Some people need time, and others will pour out their hearts to you the minute they meet you.

Be sensitive, be nice, don’t be so quick to write people off. Be careful with your words and actions, because some things you do might leave lifelong scars on others.

And finally, when things happen, and you feel broken, there\’s nothing wrong in taking the time out to heal.

Having said that, if anyone reading today\’s post needs a listening ear at any time, you can reach out to me. Email: shaybolanta@gmail.com. Twitter and IG:  shayrunn and Facebook: Sharon Bolanta

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