If I am being honest, this is the last thing I want to write about. However, let’s say I wasn’t given much of a choice.
Over the last few weeks/months, I have experienced crushing and disappointing events. It is safe to say I went through the stages of grief. I remember getting so angry at a point, but at the bottom of that anger, was a root of hurt. And the more I sat in the hurt and anger, the more hurt I became. And it wasn’t long before offence set in. I didn’t even notice I was offended. I said, “I have forgiven so and so,” all is well. I can move on with my life. But then I found myself annoyed and offended by everything and everyone – including myself and God. 
You see, the thing with offence is this it sneaks in like a spider through any crack it finds, and before you know it, your house is full of little spiders and spiderwebs of offence. You don’t know how they got there, but you know they are everywhere. Offence makes you hard and cold. And once that door is open, everything becomes an offence-worthy crime. For example, in this season where I was offended, I became offended with a friend because their life became busy, and our schedules weren’t as in sync as they used to be. If that isn’t childish and petty, I don’t know what is! At first, I was annoyed with this friend for no reason, but as the days progressed, I realized I was offended! Why did something like that offend me? Because I had opened the door to the enemy.
See, the Bible says as long as we are alive, offence will come, but we are not to allow it to take hold in our hearts. My dad always says he forgives the person before they ever commit a crime. That’s the way he operates, and as believers, this is how we should all operate as well.
You will get hurt by people, intentionally and unintentionally. It is the way of life. What you decide to do with that hurt is what makes the difference. Do you get offended? Or do you choose to forgive and let go?
Don’t let the seed of bitterness and a hard heart take over your life.
You see, the problem with many of us is that we want justice. Before we truly forgive, we want them to know why their action was wrong and hurtful. We want them to suffer for causing us so much pain. We want them to understand the impact of what they did to us.
But what if they never do? More importantly, did Jesus take revenge on the people who crucified him? Did he appear to each of the soldiers after his resurrection to give them a piece of his mind? The Bible says that when he was led to the cross to be crucified, he did not open his mouth to defend himself, and he forgave all. I know it’s such a tall order, and it’s not easy, but offence, offence is not worth it.
So here is my advice to you today. The offence will surely come, but we must decide not to be offended. When people do things that make us want to scream and shout, we turn to God. First, speak to yourself and say, “I will not be offended,” refuse to mull over and linger on what they did. The longer you linger, the more time you give the roots of offence to stick and grow.
The longer you linger, the more time you give the roots of offence to stick and grow
If you need to get it off your chest, write it down in a notebook/notepad as though you were writing to them, or send yourself a voice message saying all you want to tell them. Ask God to give you the grace to forgive and forget and occupy your mind with words that bring edification and strength to your spirit.
Don’t let the seed of bitterness and a hard heart take over your life. Refuse to be offended, and live in the knowledge that God in Heaven is just and He sees all and knows all. Even if you never receive “justice” on this earth, know that God is just, which means in His way and time, he will ensure the right thing is done. If you’re struggling with offence and letting go, John Bevere has an amazing book called “The Bait of Satan” that deals with this issue. You can also find his teachings from the book on YouTube. It transformed how I look at offence, and I know it will do the same for you too.
Signed Mrs B.O
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