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Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings

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dreams

Beautiful Storms

I was listening to a message on Sunday, and a question popped into my mind. “What if we channelled some of the energy from our frustrations, into finding joy from within?” I know this does not sound easy (trust me, I really do) but think about it for a second.
Often times, life comes at us with potholes, speed bumps and blind spots. This happens at almost every turn in life, and usually when we least expect it. It can seem worse when this happens with something you love or feel passionately about and everything around you appears to be working against you.banging head
At times like this, it is easy to get discouraged and frustrated. It is easy to forget why you started and lose focus on what it is you are doing. When this happens, we tend to get so caught up in trying to solve the problems, in what is not working and in the many things we are yet to achieve, that everywhere we look we only see grey. We focus so much on the negative, that we lose sight of what we are doing, the progress we have made and why we started in the first place. This shift in focus makes it harder to keep going, to push forward and to keep fighting.

Sometimes all we need to do is go back to what really matters, the reasons we started, the foundations of our dreams.

In my line of work, it is easy to get lost in the tiny details. This means it is also easy to get discouraged. When this happens to me, I go back and read my initial proposal. It reminds me of the reasons I started and the goal I am trying to achieve.
The same goes for relationships (any and all relationships). So often we are caught up in the idea of how or what we think a relationship should be. So much so that we get lost, trying to achieve that, instead of enjoying the person’s presence and lose out on enjoying the relationship in front of us.dancing beyonce
Moral of the story, sometimes you just need to sit back and remember why you started. Remembering why you started may not pay your rent, or get you clients, but sometimes it’s enough to give you hope. It is enough to get you to try again.
When our eyes and hearts focus on the storms of life, seeing and enjoying anything becomes almost impossible.
So maybe our minds should not focus solely on what we are trying to achieve or what is not working. Maybe we should focus on the people in our lives and find joy in the now, so we do not get lost in the process of “getting there”.

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The Dreams That Run Away From Us

img_20161211_144512Have I ever mentioned that I once had this great dream of becoming a dancer? No? LOL, well, that’s probably because that has never been a dream of mine 😛 I just thought it’d make a funny intro!

Anyways, I was going to approach this from a very different angle.  But I gave it much thought and I realised that the initial approach I was going to take didn’t sit right with me.

So, why do we chase our dreams? The first answer that popped into my head when I asked myself that question was simple. Fulfilment. I mean, we chase our dreams because they bring us fulfilment.

People chase after their dreams for a truck load of reasons, but at the end of the day, I think it all boils down to wanting more for themselves and more from life.

I have never had a “big” dream. I never wanted to be the president of the United States of America, or cure AIDs. That has never been me. All I have ever really wanted to do has been to help people. Simple and short. In fact, at this given point in time I can’t even tell you that I have a specific dream I am chasing, I can only tell you that I want to create a space where I am able to help people who need it.But that’s me though  and a story for another day

Moving on … a lot of people have dreams that they have chased and are still chasing after, and it leads back to the question of why? Everyone I asked this to, had pretty much the same answer for me. For some, it’s the feeling of achievement that comes with knowing you had a dream, you went after it and you achieved it.

For others, it’s the thing with wanting to be known, with wanting to be better than the next person and with wanting to have more. And there, my friends, lies the problem.

Now, before you jump into my comment box, hear me out. There is nothing wrong with chasing after your dreams, but there is a line. There is a line between being content and being complacent.

A lot of us to an extent are insatiable. We tell ourselves we need to have more because nothing in this life is secure. We tell ourselves we have to achieve more because you know how it is, one day you can be at the top and the next at the bottom. So we push and we push for more, we chase our dreams so much so that we get to a point where it appears our dreams are running away from us. We tell people that we aren’t doing too much we simply aren’t being complacent with our lives and our achievements and that is why we do what we do. That is why we keep pushing. That is why we sacrifice friends and family. That’s why we starve ourselves, cut ourselves zero slack, keep  fighting for promotions and hoping jobs when the promotions aren’t enough. Because we don’t want to be complacent but in reality, it isn’t that we aren’t being complacent, it’s that we aren’t being content. It is that we always want more.

Being content doesn’t stop you from casing your dreams, but it stops you from wanting more all the time, so much so that everything you have is never enough.

The dreams we have are ours to chase, they were given to us for a reason and if we don’t go after them we will never have them. But there is a bigger picture than you and me in the dreams we chase. There is a bigger picture than what you can gain. If all you see is how much you can have. How much financial security, how much skill, how much fame, then chances are the dream you’re chasing is a dream without an end and as a consequence you’ll probably never see the end of it.

That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but then again, it might cost you more than you realise.

At the end of the day, there is a thin line between complacency and contentment and in my opinion, to get the best out of our dreams and avoid situations where they appear to be running away from us, we need to be able to tell the difference.

It is 7 sleeps to my birthday, and today, I am thankful for the people that push me to be more, to do more.

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Why I Don’t Drive!

So believe it or not, I don’t know how to drive!  *covers face*

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Lol, I have refused to learn for a number of reasons, but the primary reason, the major road block to my learning to drive is…. *drum roll please*

FEAR!

Yup, that’s it, fear. Like, what if someone runs into me? Or I run into a building, or I panic and knock someone down! Lol

I’m sure you’re wondering how that little bit of information is relevant to anything right now, and why I just told you I’m scared of driving?!

Well, the things is, driving is not the only thing I haven’t done due to fear.

Before I started blogging, I was petrified of showing people anything I wrote. In fact, most people didn’t know I could even write to begin with because I was scared. I was scared of how people would see my work, I was scared of how they would respond to the topics I wrote on, I was scared nobody would like it… as in, the list of things I was scared of was endless.

For a very long time, up until quite recently, I had been very scared of performing in front of people. i.e reciting my pieces (poems, spoken word, whatever you want to call them) in front of people. Why? Well, what if I’m not good enough, or  nobody likes it? What if I forget my lines etc. in my head the list was truly endless…

Again you’re probably wondering why I am listing some of my silly and irrational fears to you, but give me a minute, I actually have a point I’m trying to make.

Believe it or not, fear is something that holds a lot of people, including myself, from being great and doing great things. The fear of failure, the fear of the unknown, the fear of disapproval, the fear of death, the fear of loss etc… the list of fears we can possibly have as human beings is endless

But what do we gain from letting that fear have a grip on us? Absolutely nothing! Instead we actually lose  a lot. We lose the joy of success, we lose the pride of hard work and a job well done, we lose the satisfaction of seeing the fruit of our labour, we lose the excitement of something new, we lose the knowledge that we are fulfilling God’s plan for our lives, cause believe it or nah, a lot of times fear stops us from doing and fulfilling Gods plan and purpose for us.

Now, this is not me saying I have overcome all my fears and I’m ready to bungee jump off a 30 floor story building, lol, far from it. This however is me saying hey, fear is normal, like Franklin Roosevelt said, ” courage is not the absence of fear, but the knowledge that there is something greater than fear.”

Look beyond the fear, and see the possibilities you would be denying yourself of, if you decide to sit in fear. The worst thing that can happen is you make a mistake, or you fail, and in all honesty, those things aren’t all that bad. I mean, if you make a mistake, you’ve learnt something new… something you would most likely avoid in the future, and if you fail, you can try again, in a different way. Again, you’ve learnt something new and it will more than likely stand to your benefit sooner or later!

2 Timothy 1:7 ” For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind”

So!!! In light of all that, and in the spirit of being fearless, I have been thinking of starting a podcast, and I would like your opinion(s). There is a poll below, if you would like for me to do a podcast, please let me know, and I will!

Also! phot credit goes to the amazing Iyke Ibeh! Follow him on IG @iykeibeh

Listen!

ImageIts been a while since I wrote.. school has been crazy and busy, but I’m thankful to God! Well, today’s post is inspired by Beyonce’s Listen! I hope this makes sense to someone, cause the song spoke to me! Enjoy!!

So, a friend of mine did a cover of Beyonce’s listen.. I personally didn’t listen to it, because I’ve just been too busy, but today I was like, why don’t I just listen to the song, and I did, and now,  I’m  in love with the song !! So…Where to start from…Image

Everyone has dreams and  sometimes we don’t even recognize them. The fact is, they are forever in everyone, what you decide to do with it is entirely up to you. I speak from experience, I’ve pushed my dreams aside because I’ve felt the people around me weren’t listening, they heard, but they didn’t really hear.I have small small dreams here and there, sometimes I want to model for people,not because I feel I’m the most beautiful girl on earth, but because I love my body and want people to see Gods goodness in me, other times I want to sing, cause I love it, I love to use my not so nice voice to share different messages, and then other times I want to write. Use my words to change peoples lives for good..  let people know that there is someone else there that feels what they feel and understands their pain.. but have I done any of that? No.. because I feel no one hears me or sees me. The people around me make me feel less than I am and most times, I let them, and instead of focusing on my dreams I focus on theirs. Or focus on what they want me to do.. I’m too busy living their dreams I forget about mine.. its very sad actually.. most people do this, well, maybe not, but I do it, and have been doing it for a long time. In as much as we love people and we love our loved ones, we should be able to do what makes us happy, follow your dreams, not theirs.. they may not be happy about it, but that’s not your problem, because its your dream.. its what you want. if you want it, and they think you’re not good enough, work on yourself and make yourself better, and if you want it, and they think it wont be fruitful, put your best into it and show them just how fruitful it can be. Bottom line of what am saying is this. Your dreams are yours, don’t live someone else’s dream because you want them happy.. live your dream. Its your  dream.. Having said all that, please note I’m not saying go and do wrong stuff in the name of living your dream. As always, use wisdom, do what is right, if your dream is going to do more harm than good to everyone involved then check the dream. All I’m saying is don’t go about living someone else’s dream cause they want you to do this, or be this person.. remember in this life, you only get one shot, make it count!

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