Search

Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings

Tag

advice

Inner Compass, What am I Even Doing!?

 

A few months ago, a friend asked me to do something. I won’t lie, I had my reservations about taking it on. I am generally a cautious person, and I tend to overthink things, so when I faced this dilemma, I told myself I was overdoing it.
I went on to do this thing, and for a while, things were going alright. I was able to manage stuff and keep everyone happy. However, as I kept on doing said thing, I began to struggle. Long story short, I became overwhelmed, stressed and unhappy and had to put an end to things. shaking my head

You can probably guess where I am going with this. If I had listened to my inner compass, I would have saved myself a few months of stress and anxiety. But did I? Nope, I decided to push away the one thing that usually keeps me out of trouble because I wanted to prove a point (or something like that).
So here is the thing. We all have an inner compass. Some people call it intuition, but to me, it’s the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is my compass. When I don’t have peace about something, it’s usually the Holy Spirit telling me I have no business getting involved with it. Whether you refer to your inner compass as intuition or the Holy Spirit doesn’t change the fact that there is something on your inside that tells you what to do and tells you when you are on the right side of things.
The world we live in is full of voices striving for our attention and if you do not know what your inner voice sounds like you will listen to the voice of everyone but yourself.
know yourselfDon’t let anyone sway you. If you know for a fact that you cannot do something, or you do not think a particular task is in your best interest, then take a step back, because here are the facts, most times people do not know you as well as you know yourself.

We often talk about discovering ourselves and finding our paths in life. To me, the first step in achieving this is learning to hear and listen to your inner compass. It genuinely saves you from a lot of mistakes, stress, anxiety and the likes. And often when we don’t know what we are doing, or how to handle a particular situation, our inner compass acts as a guide.
The truth is, I haven’t always listened to my inner compass and nine out of ten times I find myself looking back and seeing all the signs I saw but dismissed. I look back and remember all the times I heard in my spirit that I should have followed a different path, and I’m like, “but you know if you had listened you wouldn’t be here right now”.

Remember, you are the driver, they are the passengers. Even if they sit up front with you, they are still passengers, and you get to decide who you listen to on this journey of life.

It isn’t always easy to listen to and follow the inner voice in us, but it is necessary. Learn to tune out the world and pay attention to yourself. To your mind and your heart. You are the main character in your life, don’t give the lead to someone who doesn’t deserve it or knows the story as well as you do. check yourself
Finally, if you are ever in doubt, or not sure your inner compass is making sense, talk to a mentor, a friend, or someone who knows you and someone you trust. Chances are if you are on the right track they will point you in the right direction.
Remember, you are the driver, they are the passengers. Even if they sit up front with you, they are still passengers, and you get to decide who you listen to on this journey of life.

Thank you for reading today’s post! Please like, comment and share!

Also, don’t forget to subscribe via email! 


			

Beautiful Storms

I was listening to a message on Sunday, and a question popped into my mind. “What if we channelled some of the energy from our frustrations, into finding joy from within?” I know this does not sound easy (trust me, I really do) but think about it for a second.
Often times, life comes at us with potholes, speed bumps and blind spots. This happens at almost every turn in life, and usually when we least expect it. It can seem worse when this happens with something you love or feel passionately about and everything around you appears to be working against you.banging head
At times like this, it is easy to get discouraged and frustrated. It is easy to forget why you started and lose focus on what it is you are doing. When this happens, we tend to get so caught up in trying to solve the problems, in what is not working and in the many things we are yet to achieve, that everywhere we look we only see grey. We focus so much on the negative, that we lose sight of what we are doing, the progress we have made and why we started in the first place. This shift in focus makes it harder to keep going, to push forward and to keep fighting.

Sometimes all we need to do is go back to what really matters, the reasons we started, the foundations of our dreams.

In my line of work, it is easy to get lost in the tiny details. This means it is also easy to get discouraged. When this happens to me, I go back and read my initial proposal. It reminds me of the reasons I started and the goal I am trying to achieve.
The same goes for relationships (any and all relationships). So often we are caught up in the idea of how or what we think a relationship should be. So much so that we get lost, trying to achieve that, instead of enjoying the person’s presence and lose out on enjoying the relationship in front of us.dancing beyonce
Moral of the story, sometimes you just need to sit back and remember why you started. Remembering why you started may not pay your rent, or get you clients, but sometimes it’s enough to give you hope. It is enough to get you to try again.
When our eyes and hearts focus on the storms of life, seeing and enjoying anything becomes almost impossible.
So maybe our minds should not focus solely on what we are trying to achieve or what is not working. Maybe we should focus on the people in our lives and find joy in the now, so we do not get lost in the process of “getting there”.

Thank you for reading today’s post! Please read, like, comment and share!

Don’t want to miss out on a post from Wandering Thoughts? You can subscribe via email to this blog and receive all posts direct to your email! 

 

Unapologetically You … (II)

glasses

I’m one of those people who finds it hard to say no (I may or may not have mentioned this before). I’m better at it these days, but in the past, 9 out of 10 times I’d always say yes. You see, I often felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I thought if I  did what the people around me wanted, I would become good enough for them. LOL, let’s just say things didn’t quite work out that way.

I’m older now, and even though I haven’t completely mastered the art of saying no, I’m working on it – and this leads us to today’s post. Recently I was asked to do something. My first impulse was to say no because it was beyond my abilities at the time. However, I thought, “what would people say if they knew I said no”? I then told myself I was being silly for thinking I couldn’t do it (even though I knew there was no way I could deliver) and being the stubborn person that I am, I decided I would say yes! LOL, I’m sure my village people were laughing at me. Anyways, I said yes, then promptly decided I wouldn’t think about it. I mean, I knew I had this thing to do, but I didn’t want to stress about it, so I didn’t give it too much thought. I did all that I could physically do and lived in denial for a while. As the deadline got closer though, I realized how unprepared I was and let’s just say things went south really really fast. facepalm

Looking back, I know I could have prevented all that by simply saying no, or saying I couldn’t deliver within the time frame. I could have avoided all that emotional and mental stress. I could have handled the situation in so many different ways, but I decided to go down the one way that would cause me the most stress. I knew it wouldn’t end well, but my fear of “what would they say” stopped me from making the right choice.

So here’s the thing, in being unapologetically you, you have to know who you are. You have to know your strengths and weaknesses, make the most out of them and protect them. If you know you get stressed easily, you need to remove yourself from stressful situations when you can and find less stressful ways to deal with them. If this means doing things straight away instead of leaving them until the last minute, then do that. Don’t sit in situations that will cause you to pull your hair out when the option to walk away is available.  It’s like eating chocolates even though you’re allergic to them just because you don’t want people to think you’re weird or because everyone is doing it. It doesn’t make sense!

Protect your peace of mind, your health and your joy and do it with pride

You can only protect what is yours if you know how too. What are the parts of yourself you are working on? What are your weaknesses? What are your strengths?  What are your unique qualities?  You can only protect and nurture them when you identify them. This isn’t to say don’t work on becoming a better you, but as you’re on that path, take care of yourself so you don’t jeopardize your progress.

When I first started my PhD, one of my colleagues said to me that she doesn’t work 7-day weeks because if she does she’ll become overly stressed and become useless to everyone. So she works 5-day weeks, goes to the gym, has a life outside of work and is productive as a result. She knows herself and she makes no apologies for being that way!no apologies

Your life is yours and yours alone. Protect your peace of mind, your health, and your joy and do it with pride. It doesn’t matter if they think it’s an anomaly. At the end of the day when you’re sick or stressed or worried, the people you were trying to live for most likely won’t be able to help.

Moral of the story, you know yourself better than anyone else. Don’t let the thoughts of people or society push you into a situation that robs you of your peace and joy.

Life is too short for you to be constantly stressed when you don’t have to be!

Thank you for reading today’s post! Please feel free to like, comment and share!

Don’t forget to subscribe via email!

 

 

 

That Time of Year

Today is the 18th of December and in a few days, I’ll be a year older. Usually, I’m quite happy when my birthday comes along.

me

It’s another year, I’m getting older (don’t know why this ever made me happy tbh lol) people show me love, I remember all the good times, treat myself to some cake LOL, all that good stuff.

More importantly though, for me, birthdays usually mark the beginning of a new year (which is what they are) but more than that, they sometimes feel like a second chance. You know, like maybe you didn’t really do 18 that well, so then you decide you’ll do 19 better because you know better.  Or maybe 25 wasn’t as great as you wanted it, so you tell yourself 26 will be better, it’ll be your year etc.

In fact, about 6 months ago, I was already planning my birthday. I told myself I’d cut my hair and dye it red. I’d get a second piercing and this birthday I would usher in a brand new Sharon.

LOL, it’s actually not funny, but the last couple of months knocked me down a peg or two and to be very honest, I am not ready for my birthday this year. If I could skip it, or postpone it for a month or two, I would, but oh well!

oh well

Anyways, so things aren’t really going the way I planned, but I was speaking to a lady the other day and she said to me “Sharon, you can’t keep doing the same things and expect things to change”.

 

you can’t keep doing the same things and expect things to change

Now this isn’t or wasn’t the first time I was hearing that, and it wasn’t new to me, but hearing those words in that moment made me realize that I was actually doing a lot of harm to myself by being comfortable in my situation and waiting for the world to magically fix itself for me! LOL

And it reminded me that you can wish all you want for a better life, a better 2018. You can make all the new year resolutions you want. You can hope, and you can dream.

just

But if you live 2018 the same way you’re living 2017, making the same choices, nothing will change and come December 2018 you’ll be right where you started. At some point, you have to realize that life is what you make of it, and if something isn’t working for you, maybe you should try something else because come what may, you are not the same as everyone else.

Also, you need to accept the fact that your life is really yours to live and if you make decisions based on everyone but yourself, chances are those decisions will come back to bite you and they more often than not will leave you feeling resentful.

So yea, if you don’t like the way things are going, then maybe it’s time to make a change in your life. A change that moves you in the positive direction.

Life can sometimes be hard, but you don’t always have to do it alone.

And hey, if you’re unsure of what to do, there’s nothing wrong in asking for help. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you don’t have it all together and you need help. Don’t let your pride stop you from being great.loved

 

Life can sometimes be hard, but you don’t always have to do it alone.

 

Thank you for reading today’s post. Please feel free to like, share and comment!

Don’t forget to subscribe via email 🙂

 

Letter to My 21 Year Old Self

dear-me

The next time you see someone you like, walk up to him and say “hey I like you I think you have a cute smile”

Don’t worry so much about the response you get, your actions will probably put a lift in his step

The next time she asks you why you don’t drink, tell her the truth, don’t try make excuses to spare her feelings.. She never spared yours with her opinions.

Live every day like it’s your last, yes cliché but true

Don’t be scared to get on the bus and go, stop pre-empting the disaster that’s never going to happen.

Put your phone down more often, they won’t die without you

I know your desire to be there is as real as the sun and  as beautiful as the sky but the truth is, a few hours without you won’t kill the flowers that surround you.

Smile more, laugh more, be happy more.. Life isn’t as complicated as it seems…

Yes society sucks and people are mean…. But sometimes dancing in the rain is all the healing you need.

The next time you get asked, what did you do last weekend?.. Answer honestly, even though you were at bible study on Friday, choir practice on Saturday and church on Sunday..

Answer with confidence , don’t blink don’t stutter, your faith is the only  permanent thing you have In this world, be proud of it!

Don’t defend your choice of weekend activities to her, don’t say nothing.. Cause clearly that was something.

Don’t deny your saving grace for the grace of a smile on a face.

A face that’ll fade and forget your name, for a grace that’ll be there when no one sees the pain.

Be more honest about what you believe and why you believe, they don’t have to accept you, they don’t have to understand.

You were not created to fit in, but to stand out.

The next time he touches the small of your back and whispers sweet nonsense in your ear, turn around, look him in the eye and say “if you’re not here to stay please take a seat, my time is too precious to waste on wandering feet”.

If his smile makes you uncomfortable, don’t sit there and let him molest you with his eyes. Don’t pretend like you don’t care and are not revolted by his stare.

Muster all the confidence you have, stand tall and tell him to back off.

You are not his sex toy, your body not his playground.

The next time he says to you, “you know you want this”

Look him in the eye and say “No, I do not want this, never have and never will”.

Pack your bags and leave, there is nothing holding you but the invisible chains you feel.

Do not fear what he will do or how he will feel, there is nothing worse than living in a living hell.

Dear 21 year old me, I’ve said a lot and you might not agree with me, but one thing I know..

Life is too short to spend all your time worrying and borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

Live happy, be happy.. Love  more, laugh more, dance more.. Be spontaneous sometimes… It’s not gonna kill you.

When you love people tell them, they might not be there tomorrow.

Enjoy the moments you have, life is too short to be anything but enjoyed.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑