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Wandering Thoughts

Because sometimes hiding behind a pen and paper is the only way we can express our true thoughts and feelings

Like A Butterfly

 

cropped-fullsizerender1.jpgLike a lot of young people, ladies I went through a phase in secondary school where I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I had this idea of what the perfect young lady looked like, how she acted and even how she thought and unfortunately, I didn’t fit into that pattern but all the girls at my school did.

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There were so many things I tried doing in secondary school, but because I compared myself to other people and found myself lacking,  I stopped. I gave up.

It wasn’t as if I was bad at those things, not at all! I just felt like I wasn’t good enough and would never be good enough at them.Now that I look back, I realise that all that was just hogwash!!

You see, the problem was, I was focused on other people and comparing myself to them, instead of being the person I was made to be. I guess it’s one of the reasons I hate comparison. Because it cost me a lot when I was younger.

 

Fast-forward to last week. It would surprise you to know or maybe it won’t that last week, I found myself doing the same thing I did some 10 years ago! Comparing myself to people. And not even in useful productive things, nah, not there.

I found myself comparing myself to certain people on social media, and how they talk, their online persona, etc.

Today I realised it and I was just like, Can you see yourself? Like really, what exactly are you doing?

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I don’t need to tell anyone all the cliché stuff we see/read/hear on the internet about comparison. I mean, we all know that we are meant to be ourselves and not other people etc.

However, the thing I do think we need to be reminded of is this.

We are who we are and we were created that way for a reason. If someone cannot accept you for who you are, then maybe the person doesn’t deserve such a high position in your life.

You were not created by mistake, nothing about you was/is a mistake. And I think there in lies the problem for a lot of people. We think there was some mistake when we were created. We think if we were smaller, bigger, taller, we’d be better. We think if we talked more or talked less we would be great. We think if we were anything but the way we are we would do better, and that’s just not true.

You are who you are for a reason, and God doesn’t make mistakes. There is a reason you are the way you are and that you can’t see it doesn’t make it less there.

At the end of the day, you are beautiful and perfect because you are the child of a beautiful and perfect God. No, this message isn’t just for people who are Christians by the way.

Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work at developing your skills, or work on making yourself better. No… I’m simply saying understand that you are amazing the way you are and the person to your right is amazing the way that person is. There’s no need to compare. It’s as simple as that. Do your own thing the way you know how. Somebody out there loves you just like that. And if you think nobody does, well God loves you just the way you are and tbh His love is really the most amazing love you can ever experience!

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I guess the moral of the story is this. Love yourself the way you are! The more you love yourself, the more you will flourish and blossom into a butterfly!

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Feel free to share, like, comment!

 

I’m back!

pnWo3I can’t believe it’s August already! I mean, I can, but it’s just a bit dumbfounding. So many things have happened in the last couple of months, but that’s a story for another post!

I know I’ve been gone for a minute, but I’m sure it will please you to know that I have been working on some cool stuff, so keep your eyes open for them!

So, to today’s post.

Today I want to share a bit about myself  🙂 . I’m not a celebrity who gets asked hundreds of questions daily, but I do know that some of the people who read my blog haven’t a clue about who Sharon Bolanta is. So here it goes!

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My name is Sharon Bolanta, I am a PhD student at the University of Limerick and I have a B.Sc. in Pharmaceutical and Industrial Chemistry.

I am a Christian and I love it! Every day is a beautiful day when you know you are loved by The One who loves with reckless abandon! I cannot remove myself from my faith, or my faith from me.

I love writing. I write articles, poems and I dabble in “spoken word” now and again.

I am a fan of unconventional things, and I often think if people could see the thoughts that go on in my head they would be scandalized!

About my writing. I write because there is so much to say! I mean, we live in a world that has a warped idea of how things should be (in my opinion) and so many people feel hopeless because of the ideas and ideologies that society has placed on them. They feel locked in a box (I used to feel that way) alone and without a voice. They feel like they don’t belong, or like they have to conform to a certain way of life simply because it is all they know. I don’t think it has to be and for me, having certain conversations is the first step in showing people that they really do have a choice and life doesn’t always have to be a pot of beans!

Lol, okay, so I got carried away there! Anyways, here are some more random facts about myself. I found the questions on the internet!

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  1. What is your favourite colour?

I do not have one! I am partial to blue, purple and red which considering all things are almost the same thing!

  1. How tall are you?

I am about 1.72m I think. I might be taller, I don’t really know.

  1. Cats or Dogs

Dogs!  I grew up always having dogs as pets so I am a bit partial to them.

  1. How many countries have you visited?

Do airports count? Lol, I am joking. I have been to 5 and I have like 30 more to go to!

  1. Tea or Coffee?

Both! I don’t like black tea though. Herbal teas are my thing. I used to have tea collection a few years ago. But then, coffee is just something else. I love the taste, especially all the fancy coffees. Plus with my job, you need a few cups of coffee a day!

  1. Are you single or Taken?

El oh el. I am married to the Lover of my soul!

  1. How would you describe your fashion sense?

Comfortable. I like to look nice, but I will almost always choose comfort over fashion. I also tend not to follow fashion trends because I usually do not like them, or I really just can’t be bothered.idk

  1. What are some of your favourite tv shows?

Grey’s Anatomy is currently the main hit. I enjoy(ed) the Good Wife, White Collar, House, Gilmore Girls, How to Get Away with Murder, Riverdale (waiting impatiently for the next season) etc.

  1. What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)

Android. However, if you want to bless me with a new one (iOS maybe!) I won’t say no!

  1. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Hahaha, I should let my friends answer this one! Not every morning. In fact, not most mornings. I hardly eat breakfast

  1. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

10 maybe? Not more than 12 sha. Feel free to buy me some more if you want to!

  1. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I am starting to use it more often thanks to some friend of mine! They know themselves!

 

That’s it for today guys! Thank you for reading today’s post.

Feel free to share, like and comment!

Something New!

Guess what guys!!! So, remember the song “Boys Don’t Cry “Well, I thought it might be cool to do a profile on Leo Owan who wrote the song! I actually enjoyed reading it and I hope you do it!

Who are you? (i.e your name, and any other info you want to add)

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My name is Leo Makokolee Owan. The last of five, from Boki LGA. [A minority] I love plantain and lights, em? I’m not good with an answer to this question, forgive me.

 

What is/are your expression(s) of art?

Writing, music and I’m planning on getting into photography soon.

Why do you do it? (What motivates you?)

Hmmm. Why do I do it? I do it for the moments gathered during and after each experience of my art. Those itty-bitty moments where everything matters and nothing does- too. I look forward to such freedom whenever I read, listen or see other artists’ work, so the idea of someone feeling that way or anything close because of my art is what motivates me.

What is your creative process?

I really don’t have a routine of sort but I’ve learnt, subconsciously- that my creativity gets propelled by experiences and events around me.

What is your ultimate dream/desire?

To visit and maybe live in New York! Hahaha! Okay. To be serious,  my ultimate dream/desire is to have the same or a handful amount of happiness people will come to have just because of what I’ve done in life. If I’m happy at the hour of my end, and it’s evident to me that I’ve blessed people, I’ll die with a smile and a peace sign. *hits chest, one love EarthLinks, and I’m out.*

Tell us 3 random facts about you ☺

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1, I’m addicted to plantain.  2, I’m married with two daughters in an imaginary world I created and I sometimes call their names out loud. 3, I can’t eat beyond four spoons of beans on a normal day.

What is one thing you’d like to tell people reading this?

Sink or swim. You should try swimming.

And just for the fun of it…

Are you single?? Of course not! What’s wrong with you? I just told you I’m married with two daughters.  -_-

 

Well, guys! That’s Leo Owan for you! Keep your eyes and ears out for his work!

Thank’s for reading today’s post! Feel free to share, comment, like etc.

 

 

Just Do It

Something sad happened to me last week.Crying-Sad-Meme

My work crush got a new job and left (sobbing uncontrollably) LOL

I actually found it quite sad, cause in the 9 months that I have worked there, I never had the liver to talk to him, very sad stuff. He was always nice to me, smiled at me, actually said “Hi Sharon” unlike everyone else who just nodded at me, but for some reason, I just never knew what to say when I saw him. And then, last week he left.

As per usual Sharon nature, I learnt a lesson from that incident.

You know how the Nike slogan is

Just do it

Well, they were really onto something there. I mean, I expected this guy to be around for at least 2 years, giving me time to develop a liver and talk to him, but lo and behold, he left after 9 months.

Nothing in life is permanent. If you’re like me you might be good at prioritizing things and never actually getting to things at the bottom of the priority list. Don’t do that.  Don’t put things off when you can do them. If you’re meant to email someone, do it now and don’t say “I’ll do it later”, cause chances are you won’t.

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Life is fleeting, we all know this, situations change, people move, and life goes on, but sometimes we miss out on opportunities for greatness simply because we say to ourselves, “I’ll have time later” or “it’s not that important”.

Don’t be like me, if there is something you need to do, do it now.

So, these are my Monday words of wisdom, I hope you find them somewhat helpful or at the very least funny.

In the spirit of doing things, if you haven’t checked out my last blog post, now is the time to do it. There is a link to a beautiful song, “Boys Don’t Cry” on it, and I’d advise you to check it out 🙂

Thank you for reading today’s post! As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

images gotten from Googleuk.complex

Boys Don’t Cry

Hello beautiful people ♥️

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First of all, a massive Father’s Day shoutout to all the Fathers out there!

So today, I have something a little different for you.

Today I’d like you to meet Leo Owan. Leo is an amazing multitalented young man, He’s an awesome writer(amongst other things) his articles and written pieces are always thought provoking, (you can read one of them here.) That’s not all though, he’s a dope singer and has an Ah-Ma-Zing voice! (I kid you not!)

Today he released a single “Boys Don’t Cry” check it out below and thank me later ♥️

To you, for all I did to make you cry and leave.
For me, for all the time you said “Man up, boys don’t cry”
When you left, I didn’t cry..
Now I want to open up..

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Listen to my new sound guys “Boys Don’t Cry”
Bless up!

Story story

 

Story time! Ya’ll know I love telling stories 🙂giphy (1)

So yesterday, I got back from a trip, which was exceedingly exhausting and I just wanted to go home and sleep. I got off the bus and I was waiting for another bus that would drop me off close to my house. The time for the bus to arrive came, passed, and still no bus. I was like, ya’ll don’t expect me to walk home, do you?? (Cause my house is like 25 minutes’ walk from where I was at the time)

So anyways, after much back and forth in my spirit (I did not want to start walking and the bus would drive past!), I decided to walk. I started walking and I saw a woman in the distance, this woman looked like she wanted to ask for help, and I was not in the mood to help anyone, but I could not just turn away, lol that would probably have come across as rude! Anyways, I got to her, we talked,  and I found out that she was lost and needed directions. I happened to be going in the same way that she was meant to be heading, so I told her I’d walk with her cause describing the place would be a bit difficult.

So we started talking and she asked me what I do, and I told her I was doing a PhD. When I said this, she did not respond. did I mention that she was Polish? Anyways, so when she kept quite I went on to say I was doing research and then, I realised my error.

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She felt a bit insulted because she thought, that I thought because she was polish she did not understand what a PhD was, which really was not the issue.  She went on to say to me, that she had done her doctoral studies and was there for a conference. (Which for some reason escaped me, even though she had mentioned the conference earlier!) I was mortified mortified(I’m not even going to lie!) and I instantly apologised to her, I actually felt really bad covers face. Long story short, we got over that little hitch, talked and I walked her to her place. She wished the best and actually wished me a lot of good things which made me smile.

Why did I share this story? Well, cause there are lots of lessons to be learnt. As a black woman living in Ireland, I have always been on the receiving end of people assuming I do not know something because I am black or assuming I know something because I am black. And in as much as I’m not one to get easily offended at things like that, I realised yesterday how easy it is to do that to someone. Which leads me to the point; never make assumptions. Most times assumptions do not do too much harm, but they can ruin friendships, relationships, network etc. and you might not know it, but this world is made up of networks of people and it is how we thrive.

The other thing I’d like to point out is, sometimes, the things we want even though they aren’t bad might stop us from experiencing other things. Like I did not want to walk at all. I would have taken the bus if it had shown up, and even though I prayed that it would be there, it was not. If I had taken the bus though, I would have missed the interesting encounter I had with the Polish woman. Looking glad, I’m glad I didn’t get the bus. I actually enjoyed talking to her and walking with her.smile

So yea, I don’t have a summary for today’s post. But I do hope you enjoyed it and learnt something from it!  If you haven’t taken the poll from the last post please do so!!! 🙂

Thank you for reading today’s post! I look forward to hearing back from you

 

One Mans Food…

Recently I found myself  involved in a series of conversations, and these conversations, as usual, got me thinking. Today, I will share some of my thoughts with you!

So, a lot of those discussions, revolved around questions that had elements  of “would you do this”, “is this acceptable to you” or “is this wrong” in them.  And obviously, because we are all different, the opinions of everyone involved in the conversations varied.

This got me thinking, and in the midst of that, I remembered having a conversation with a guy about long distance relationships. The guy basically told me that, if I am not with a person as per the same physical vicinity, or at least an hour or two away from said person then my relationship isn’t really a relationship.Obama_laughing LOL, I laughed, in my head, because I know wayyyy too many people that have had long distance relationships that have worked out perfectly fine. I mean sure, they have had their ups and downs, but that goes for every other relationship out there.

Now, I could go on to talk about all the perks of long distance relationships, but I think I’ll save that for another day!

I personally don’t see life as black and white. I don’t see life as an absolute left or right. Why? Well often times the views/opinions we have are based on past experiences or our upbringings or the societies we grew up in. However, those factors do not by default make our views and opinions law.

I have learnt that it’s very useful and helpful to keep an open mind when dealing with ANYONE, not just people from different countries and what not. I have also learnt that it is okay to disagree with someone, and more than that it’s okay to disagree without fighting or being hateful or malicious!

At the end of the day, what works for you may not work for someone else and that is perfectly okay. We are not all the same and we do not function best under the same circumstances. Therefore we should not expect the things that work for us to work for everyone. We are unique, and that uniqueness plays into the way we see things and handle situations…

As the saying goes…

“One mans’ food is another mans’ poison”

At the end of the day, today’s post is simply to remind everyone, that because something works or does not work for you does not make it any less real or false for someone else. And when you find yourself with people with different backgrounds, always be willing to listen to them and what they have to say. Don’t be so quick to shut them down or dismiss the things they believe in. Who knows, it might turn out that their views might make more sense than yours!

Thanks for reading today’s post! Feel free to share, like and comment <3! 

Please take the poll below  pleassseee!

Love, Care and Friendship

Often, when I write, I write from personal experience or from personal observations I’ve made. This doesn’t mean that when I’m not writing I’m not observing or experiencing though! lol 🙂

So, why did I start with that?

I was thinking to myself today about how “no one” (I don’t mean this literally) has buzzed me in a bit. I was mulling the idea around in my head and I came to the conclusion that everyone most likely thinks I am busy or something like that. Which although is true, is not an excuse for them or me either tbh.

I have learnt in my short time on this earth, that often when people withdraw, stop talking as often as they used to, or become “busy” there is usually a reason.

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Meredith Grey and Christina Yang, cause I learnt so much from their relationship! ❤

It’s either someone got tired of being the only one putting effort into the relationship, something is going on in their personal life health or otherwise, some sort of offense occurred, or they are actually busy and at those times hearing from loved ones can be very therapeutic.

Human beings are selfish by nature. We only want to do what is best for us. We only want to take care of ourselves. We want person A to do so and so for us, but we aren’t ready to do anything in return. We are lazy when it comes to others but hardworking when it comes to ourselves. It shouldn’t be that way. I mean, yes, you should take care of yourself, but at the same time, you should take care of the people in your life. The people who surround you.

friendsWe are often reminded to be the friends we want to have. This means, if you want a friend that checks up on you often, then check up on your friends often. If you want a friend that takes you out then take your friends out. If you want a friend that sacrifices for you, then be ready to make sacrifices for your friends.

Call your friends more. If you don’t hear from someone stop thinking “if the person wanted to talk he/she would call” you don’t know where the person is in his/her life. Do nice things without expecting something in return. Be the friend you want to have. Fight the selfish nature in you. Love without reservations. Yes, not everyone will reciprocate to the same extent, but 1) that shouldn’t stop you and 2) that shouldn’t make you turn nonchalant to those that actually need you.

At the end of the day, I guess the take home message is, don’t get too comfortable with your friends and loved ones. Don’t get so comfortable that you take them for granted. remember that they too are human. We are called to love, the sooner we realise this, the better.

Thank you so much for reading today’s post! I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to comment and share!

Photo credit: Google lol

 

Lesson Learnt!

 

030035a5It’s quite funny how things often play out in life.

A few weeks ago, roughly a month I think, I wrote a piece titled “I Want to Quit” . When I wrote it, I was quite frustrated with life, lol, little did I know that it was just the beginning! You see, the weeks between when I wrote that piece and now have been quite intense to say the least. I mean, if I thought I wanted to quite then, I don’t know what I wanted to do over the last weeks!

I felt under a lot of pressure, I was stressed and I wasn’t dealing with it at all. All I literally did most days was get up, exercise (until I stopped), go to work, work till late, come home, make dinner (some times) eat, get into bed and pass out. The time between when I got into bed and when I actually passed out was often spent at one online meeting or the other, writing articles or mentally trying to solve problems (for work). Weekends were spent quite similarly, packed with activity after activity.

Everyone kept telling me to take a break, but I felt I didn’t deserve a break. I felt like I had way too much work to do to take a break. So I didn’t. I pushed my self, until i became less efficient, pushed myself some more, became exhausted, and pushed my self even more, until I was doing just the bare minimum and still flopping at it. Finally, this weekend, I got permission to rest. As funny as it may sound to some, God gave me permission to rest and I did.

The whole episode taught me something. Well, a couple of things actually. The first being that when it comes to stress and work load, there will most likely always be things that will demand your attention and could potentially stress you. You however, have to know yourself well enough to know when to take a step back and breathe.

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The more important thing I learnt however is this.

Sometimes we are looking for permission from someone outside of ourselves to be great. We are looking for someone to approve of our choices before we make them, and really, we shouldn’t be. There are certain things we don’t need permission to do. I remember talking to God, and He asked me “did you really need My permission to rest?” and I sheepishly replied no. because the truth is, I didn’t. God expects me to use my brain and stop when I need to. He expects me to apply my faith when I need to, I don’t need to ask His permission before I rest when I’m tired, or eat when I’m hungry or tell someone about how wonderful He has been to me.

It’s like you walking into your bedroom and asking your mum/dad if you can lay on your bed. I mean, sure they can give you permission if you really want it, but it’s really not necessary. It’s your bed!

So yea, we were created to be great, we were created to do great things, but often time we sit back as though we are waiting for someone to give us permission to be great. It is not necessary! Don’t be like me waiting for permission to rest. There are things that you don’t require permission for, and being great is one of them!

Thanks for reading today’s post! Please comment, like, share!

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